As how it is most times during the week, my coworker (the one I blogged about) comes over to my desk after his shift is over to chat and shoot the breeze with me. I always enjoy talking with him, and even after I told him that I got down, he never looked down on me in any kind of judgmental way; he's always treated me the same. I think the main reason why I'm so cool with my coworker is that he reminds me so much of myself when I was his age (24)...he's young but he certainly doesn't carry himself like the average 24 year old. He's sophisticated, kinda laid-back, not very promiscuous (I can count on one hand how many sex stories he's told me), and mostly about his business (when he's not payin somebody dust lol). I can honestly say we have a friendship. We normally just laugh talk about coworkers, who was givin shade for the day, how he had to pay his manager dust, etc. (For a dude that claims to be straight, he sure kee kee-s like a good ole homo, but that's neither here nor there lol.) Anyway, he proceeds to tell me about his trip to Miami and the Dominican Republic, for which he enjoyed himself. Then he just said something that really took me off guard. It seemed to have come out of nowhere, although I know it was something he decided a while ago.
"I'm taking six months off," he blurted out.
"Six months off what?" I asked.
He then makes the symbol of sexual intercourse on his hands...one hand balled up into an O shape, with the index finger of the other hand going in and out of the O.
"Ohhhhhhhhh!" I responded incredulously, "Are you serious?"
"Yup," he answered, "I feel so much stronger when I don't do it."
"That's funny. I don't feel stronger until I get it in," I joked. "Well you know the weather's gettin nice. I wish you the best on that."
Even though I was kinda caught off guard by his revelation, now that I think about it it doesn't surprise me as much, knowing all that I know about him at this point.
The next day I marinated on what he said...I feel so much stronger when I don't do it. I assumed he meant physically, but it can also mean mentally. I mean hell, sex does have a way of clouding people's minds from making good judgments. I do remember him telling me that he was with his ex-girlfriend for 4 years (from ages 16-20). Now he's just casually talking to one or two girls. Maybe he feels like if he doesn't have sex, he doesn't have to worry about all the other feelings or emotions and whatever else that comes with the territory of interacting with someone else. I have to pick his brain a little more about this. I can't really say I relate to what he's saying. Even though I have no desire of getting into a relationship, I still have the need to express myself physically with someone else. (Masturbation can only satisfy me for so long, as much I really enjoy it. It's the horny side of me talking lol.) I'm experiencing new-found physical expressions with this dude from Elizabeth (from a few blogs ago). Shit, if his horny ass had his way, we'd be fuckin every day. He was gonna come over this past Friday, but he got lost, then frustrated, then went back home. We've only had sex twice so far, and I honestly do feel better. It's the best stress reliever (not to mention calorie burner). I don't consider myself to be all that great in sex, but it does something to your ego when your partner is moaning and screaming in ecstasy from what you're giving them. You feel like a muthafuckin champ! LOL
But I know there has to be someone else that is going through (or can at least relate) to what my coworker is going through. So now I pose this question to all you bloggers out there...I always thought that sex was supposed to create a sense of well-being. But is/was there ever a time when the joy of sex took something out of you other than physically? Did you ever feel at a low point after you did the do? How? Why? My interest has been piqued now.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Life Changes
Tuesday Morning, May 6, 2008: A man is getting himself ready for work. Everything seems customary. He saw his kids off to school, kisses his wife, probably got some breakfast, etc. But today something is a little different. Just when he is about to leave, he says to his wife how he doesn't feel too well. He lays down in bed, and never wakes up again...
That's basically how it happened for one of my coworkers (but I didn't work with him directly). At 42 years old, God removed him from this earth in an instant from a massive heart attack, leaving behind a grieving wife, two young sons, and a host of relatives, friends, and coworkers. Today was the daunting task of paying our last respects to the man. I sat in one of the 5 pews in the church where his coworkers sat. No, I didn't cry, because I didn't know him that well. But in my few encounters with him, I also saw him in a good mood. As some of my other coworkers who really knew him described him, he was a "gentle giant." Picture a black man that is about 6'4" or 6'5" and weighed about 260 lbs, yet always smiled and was well loved and respected to all that came in contact with him. In my year or so of working at my current job, I have NEVER heard anyone say ANYTHING bad about the man (cause people can spread some serious gossip about somebody at work!). He also was a very well-known party promoter in Jersey City (where he lived all his life). That says something about someone's character in that noone found any faults with him, no matter what field of work he was involved in.
As I listened to the funeral service and observed my coworker in the coffin, many thoughts went through my head. I started seeing family members and friends in the coffin, and yes, even pictured myself lying in there. (Hell, it could've been any of us in there.) It made me wonder about the things in my life that I needed to change/clean up before that fateful day that God decides that it's my time to depart this life as well, because life is VERY short! With all this being said, I made a pact with myself to follow through with the following things:
1. I will not worry myself over anything I have no control over. My job is tops. While I am enjoying the benefits of having a permanent job again after a 2 year layoff, I also know that I could be back in the same position I was before: back to a temp job or, worse, back to the unemployment office. That's just the way the job market is now; you can have a job today, the next day you're laid off. It's out of your control. Whatever will be will be. Why be stressed and discouraged over it? Everything happens for a reason.
2. I will strengthen myself physically, mentally, socially, and professionally. When I was younger, I could care less about exercising or eating right. Shit, I'm a slim dude; I need all the weight I can get! Now that I'm a little older, I realize that I can't just put whatever the fuck I want into my body and not expect it to catch up to me later on. Now I am making a conscious effort to eat better and incorporate some sort of exercise regimen (right now it's mainly push ups and sit ups). I will also strengthen myself by reading more books, watching shows dealing with politics and debates (which I'm still very much a novice at), participating more in discussions (instead of being the usual mute), and work on getting some type of certification for the work that I do (it makes me more marketable when the time comes that I have to change jobs).
3. I will still treat everybody the way I want to be treated, but I will not be concerned now if they are mad at me, not speaking to me, etc. That may sound a little selfish, but if I'm striving to be the best person I can be, I cannot be bogged down with who's mad at me or who's not speaking to me. It's petty bullshit. For most of my life I think I've been too concerned with what others thought of me. No more! I will still do the honorable thing and apologize if I said/did something wrong. But if they're mad after that point, they will get over it. And if they don't, that's their problem. I will still lay my head down at night and get my full 8 hours of sleep. No shade. My life must go on.
4. I will speak up and say what's on my mind more often. This is a hard one for me because I've always had difficulty getting my point across. I also have a problem holding things inside of me for months, even years, which lead to problems later on. But as I watched my coworker's wife and 2 sons place a flower on his casket, my mind immediately went back to September, 1987, when I (as a 9-year-old) did the same thing to my father's casket, and how tears ran down my face as I realized that, not only was I never going to see him again, but there was so much that I didn't get a chance to say to him. Sometimes I think about that and it tears me up that there wasn't closure, but now I realize that I must not let that happen again.
5. I will (re)disccover what my God-given talent is and use it to the best of my ability. When I was a kid, my mother put me in tap dancing class, and I continued the hobby for 8 years. Everybody was calling me the next Gregory Hines (it also helped that we have the same first name). But I stopped after the passing of my mother. At the time, it was too much for me to go on doing it without her. Every now and then I wonder what would've happened had I continued to tap dance. It could've lead to so many doors being opened that I couldn't possibly imagine. Now I ask myself what my talent is. Is it writing? Computers? I know it's there somewhere. I just have to tap into it and, most importantly, not waste a lot of time trying to find it. I've gotta do it, and do it now!
I'm sure there are other points I want to make, but my mind is kinda racing right now and my fingers can't keep up. But I managed to get out the bulk of what I was feeling. It's just too bad that it took something like a funeral for me to come to terms with what I really need to do to better my life. But like I said in the first point, don't all things happen for a reason?
That's basically how it happened for one of my coworkers (but I didn't work with him directly). At 42 years old, God removed him from this earth in an instant from a massive heart attack, leaving behind a grieving wife, two young sons, and a host of relatives, friends, and coworkers. Today was the daunting task of paying our last respects to the man. I sat in one of the 5 pews in the church where his coworkers sat. No, I didn't cry, because I didn't know him that well. But in my few encounters with him, I also saw him in a good mood. As some of my other coworkers who really knew him described him, he was a "gentle giant." Picture a black man that is about 6'4" or 6'5" and weighed about 260 lbs, yet always smiled and was well loved and respected to all that came in contact with him. In my year or so of working at my current job, I have NEVER heard anyone say ANYTHING bad about the man (cause people can spread some serious gossip about somebody at work!). He also was a very well-known party promoter in Jersey City (where he lived all his life). That says something about someone's character in that noone found any faults with him, no matter what field of work he was involved in.
As I listened to the funeral service and observed my coworker in the coffin, many thoughts went through my head. I started seeing family members and friends in the coffin, and yes, even pictured myself lying in there. (Hell, it could've been any of us in there.) It made me wonder about the things in my life that I needed to change/clean up before that fateful day that God decides that it's my time to depart this life as well, because life is VERY short! With all this being said, I made a pact with myself to follow through with the following things:
1. I will not worry myself over anything I have no control over. My job is tops. While I am enjoying the benefits of having a permanent job again after a 2 year layoff, I also know that I could be back in the same position I was before: back to a temp job or, worse, back to the unemployment office. That's just the way the job market is now; you can have a job today, the next day you're laid off. It's out of your control. Whatever will be will be. Why be stressed and discouraged over it? Everything happens for a reason.
2. I will strengthen myself physically, mentally, socially, and professionally. When I was younger, I could care less about exercising or eating right. Shit, I'm a slim dude; I need all the weight I can get! Now that I'm a little older, I realize that I can't just put whatever the fuck I want into my body and not expect it to catch up to me later on. Now I am making a conscious effort to eat better and incorporate some sort of exercise regimen (right now it's mainly push ups and sit ups). I will also strengthen myself by reading more books, watching shows dealing with politics and debates (which I'm still very much a novice at), participating more in discussions (instead of being the usual mute), and work on getting some type of certification for the work that I do (it makes me more marketable when the time comes that I have to change jobs).
3. I will still treat everybody the way I want to be treated, but I will not be concerned now if they are mad at me, not speaking to me, etc. That may sound a little selfish, but if I'm striving to be the best person I can be, I cannot be bogged down with who's mad at me or who's not speaking to me. It's petty bullshit. For most of my life I think I've been too concerned with what others thought of me. No more! I will still do the honorable thing and apologize if I said/did something wrong. But if they're mad after that point, they will get over it. And if they don't, that's their problem. I will still lay my head down at night and get my full 8 hours of sleep. No shade. My life must go on.
4. I will speak up and say what's on my mind more often. This is a hard one for me because I've always had difficulty getting my point across. I also have a problem holding things inside of me for months, even years, which lead to problems later on. But as I watched my coworker's wife and 2 sons place a flower on his casket, my mind immediately went back to September, 1987, when I (as a 9-year-old) did the same thing to my father's casket, and how tears ran down my face as I realized that, not only was I never going to see him again, but there was so much that I didn't get a chance to say to him. Sometimes I think about that and it tears me up that there wasn't closure, but now I realize that I must not let that happen again.
5. I will (re)disccover what my God-given talent is and use it to the best of my ability. When I was a kid, my mother put me in tap dancing class, and I continued the hobby for 8 years. Everybody was calling me the next Gregory Hines (it also helped that we have the same first name). But I stopped after the passing of my mother. At the time, it was too much for me to go on doing it without her. Every now and then I wonder what would've happened had I continued to tap dance. It could've lead to so many doors being opened that I couldn't possibly imagine. Now I ask myself what my talent is. Is it writing? Computers? I know it's there somewhere. I just have to tap into it and, most importantly, not waste a lot of time trying to find it. I've gotta do it, and do it now!
I'm sure there are other points I want to make, but my mind is kinda racing right now and my fingers can't keep up. But I managed to get out the bulk of what I was feeling. It's just too bad that it took something like a funeral for me to come to terms with what I really need to do to better my life. But like I said in the first point, don't all things happen for a reason?
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Born-Again Virgin No More
WARNING: EXPLICIT CONTENT. DEAL WITH IT LOL...
Anybody that knows me knows how I felt about being a bottom. Nope, not me. I will never, ever, never do that shit again. That stemmed from my frustration and disappointment with the few chosen dudes (four to be exact) lucky enough to get up in my ass. Especially the last dude, who swore up and down on his mama and daddy about how good his top status was, how I was gonna love it, blah blah blah. (Some short dude from Philly. He must've had a Napolean Complex or something.) Anyway, after the lackluster performance that he called fuckin me, I swore off letting anybody else get the chance. And believe it or not, I kept my word for six whole years to the month...April 2002. Many dudes have come after him asking me, hell, practically begging me to give em some. Some gave me the line that they will take their time, and even tried just sticking the head in. But just like nagging mosquitos in the summer, I brushed em all away.
Fuck them! They are not my boyfriends. They'll just get it from somebody else. They will be just fine, I told myself. And I was perfectly content with that answer.
By the time I started to talk to this dude about a year or so ago from Elizabeth that I met from Men4Now, I was happy with the (very high) wall I built up about bottoming. Like I always do, as soon as he hit me up, I immediately went to the "sexual role" part of his profile. Versatile. Great, I said to myself, he's gonna eventually want some ass if we meet. But little does he know that opening is closed indefinitely! Many months passed throughout our phone conversations (and phone boning) about hookin up. I was not pressed on meeting him. I've gone years without meeting people face-to-face that I consider good friends. He definitely did not fit that criteria, so I wasn't beat at all. A phone call or IM every now and then would suit me just fine. And besides, I was still living at home with my aunt and uncle, and he had his brother staying with him, so we really had no place to meet up anyway. (He mentioned a hotel, but I don't do hotels just for sex. Shot that down real quick.) Oh well...life goes on.
But when I moved into my own place earlier this month, a funny thing happened. I actually started thinking about allowing myself to become a bottom once again. But with whom, I said to myself. Shit, I don't wanna just give that up to just any dude. To me, givin up the ass symbolizes giving up a very big part of you that everybody should not be entitled to. I knew I wanted to do it with somebody I was cool (or semi-cool) with, so the Elizabeth dude was near the top of the list. So began my full-fledged propositioning. About a week later, he told me he would come through this past Tuesday. Oh boy, the time has come once again. Gotta finally walk the walk instead of talking the talk. When I got home Tuesday, I saw that he was online, so I hit him up asking if he was still coming. He said he forgot that he had to go to his cousin's house for some kinda party. See, I knew it, he's bullshittin. But hey, I ain't sweatin it. My hole will just continue to stay closed to dicks a little while longer. He then mentions that he's "definitely not doing anything tomorrow." So we rescheduled for the next day.
He calls me the next day while I'm still at work, so I told him I would call him when I get home. When I got home, I was still only halfway believing that he was actually gonna come thru. And I definitely was half-skeptical about letting him in back there. But my optimism won out, so I jumped in the shower and proceeded to get myself together. I text him and hit him up online, and I got no response to neither. Just like I thought, he's not coming. He's full of shit. I went into the kitchen to fix myself dinner and didn't worry about him. Lo and behold, the muthafucka calls me around 8:30 and told me he was coming. Hot damn, he's actually gonna keep his word. "Is 9:30 cool?" he asked.
"Yeah that's fine," I said.
I can't say I was excited or waiting in anticipation. Lord knows I've met up with many dudes, and he really was no different. I was over the excitement of meeting a dude. He calls me around 9:45 and told me he was down the street, so I went outside to meet him and direct him to a parking spot. I got inside his car and was relieved that he was not a monster. (He showed me a nice pic a good while ago, but by then, I practically forgot what he looked like.) I escorted him into my apartment and directed him into my bedroom. Oh yeah, did I mention he had a bottle of Henny with him? LOL We both sipped on the Henny while watching a porno. He seemed to be more interested in the liquor and porno than me, so I scooted my ass over closer and closer to him, which lead to me kissing on his neck. Then we got to it...
More kissin and lickin, me givin him head, him givin me head. I was just happy that I was gettin any kind of action again after four months. Then he asked me, "You wanna fuck me?"
"Yeah, if that's what you want," I answered. (I'm very laid-back in all aspects of my life.") So out comes the condom and lube, and up pop his legs on my shoulders. He told me he last bottomed back in November, and he seemed to be takin it like a damn pro. First on his back, then doggy, then on his stomach. From the way he was moaning and responding, I take it that he enjoyed what I was giving. And believe me, I enjoyed giving it. I silently patted myself on the back for a good job. After that part was over, I straddled myself across his stomach. As I straddled him, he did what oh so many dudes in the past have done...he tried sticking the head in. I quickly pushed away.
"I just wanted to play with it," he says.
"I don't play like that, especially with no condom," I said back.
"Aight, so get the condom."
*Insert Jeopardy music here*
Hmm...should I let him have some or should I just tell him no. Decisions, decisions. After a few seconds, I got myself off the bed and went to my drawer to get another condom, silently talking to myself the whole time.
Maybe it won't hurt as much as the last time I remember.
He's only about 7.5 inches; I think I can deal with that.
He did let me fuck him; it's only right that I reciprocate.
So I climbed on top of him and tried to guide the car into my tunnel. No luck.
"Let me try another position," he said.
Oh boy, here we go.
So I laid myself on my bed, on my stomach, with my legs off the bed. First I felt fingers, then I eventually felt the thing that reminded me six years ago why I absolutely hated being a bottom. I felt the dick reach the part inside me that truly opened me up and made my cherry go, pop! OMG! I don't know if I can get used to this again! He slowly stroked himself in and out of me. It still hurt me but it actually was pretty good nonetheless. He continued for a good while longer until I decided that enough was enough; the probing was over lol. We bust our collective nuts and the show was officially over.
And with that, my Great Wall of China (Great Wall of Greg?) came tumbling down. I accomplished givin up the booty to somebody that I was on pretty good terms with. And I'm sure it's not gonna be some one time thing. I'll meet up with him again and get reacquainted with this whole versatile thing. I know one thing...we better have a bigger bottle of liquor cause that bitch brought over a little half pint of Henny. I was so over him for that shit! LOL I wanna be nice and inebriated next time so I can really be relaxed. Til next time, my hole will return to normal lol. (I know my crew is gagging right now, but smiling. Right?)
Anybody that knows me knows how I felt about being a bottom. Nope, not me. I will never, ever, never do that shit again. That stemmed from my frustration and disappointment with the few chosen dudes (four to be exact) lucky enough to get up in my ass. Especially the last dude, who swore up and down on his mama and daddy about how good his top status was, how I was gonna love it, blah blah blah. (Some short dude from Philly. He must've had a Napolean Complex or something.) Anyway, after the lackluster performance that he called fuckin me, I swore off letting anybody else get the chance. And believe it or not, I kept my word for six whole years to the month...April 2002. Many dudes have come after him asking me, hell, practically begging me to give em some. Some gave me the line that they will take their time, and even tried just sticking the head in. But just like nagging mosquitos in the summer, I brushed em all away.
Fuck them! They are not my boyfriends. They'll just get it from somebody else. They will be just fine, I told myself. And I was perfectly content with that answer.
By the time I started to talk to this dude about a year or so ago from Elizabeth that I met from Men4Now, I was happy with the (very high) wall I built up about bottoming. Like I always do, as soon as he hit me up, I immediately went to the "sexual role" part of his profile. Versatile. Great, I said to myself, he's gonna eventually want some ass if we meet. But little does he know that opening is closed indefinitely! Many months passed throughout our phone conversations (and phone boning) about hookin up. I was not pressed on meeting him. I've gone years without meeting people face-to-face that I consider good friends. He definitely did not fit that criteria, so I wasn't beat at all. A phone call or IM every now and then would suit me just fine. And besides, I was still living at home with my aunt and uncle, and he had his brother staying with him, so we really had no place to meet up anyway. (He mentioned a hotel, but I don't do hotels just for sex. Shot that down real quick.) Oh well...life goes on.
But when I moved into my own place earlier this month, a funny thing happened. I actually started thinking about allowing myself to become a bottom once again. But with whom, I said to myself. Shit, I don't wanna just give that up to just any dude. To me, givin up the ass symbolizes giving up a very big part of you that everybody should not be entitled to. I knew I wanted to do it with somebody I was cool (or semi-cool) with, so the Elizabeth dude was near the top of the list. So began my full-fledged propositioning. About a week later, he told me he would come through this past Tuesday. Oh boy, the time has come once again. Gotta finally walk the walk instead of talking the talk. When I got home Tuesday, I saw that he was online, so I hit him up asking if he was still coming. He said he forgot that he had to go to his cousin's house for some kinda party. See, I knew it, he's bullshittin. But hey, I ain't sweatin it. My hole will just continue to stay closed to dicks a little while longer. He then mentions that he's "definitely not doing anything tomorrow." So we rescheduled for the next day.
He calls me the next day while I'm still at work, so I told him I would call him when I get home. When I got home, I was still only halfway believing that he was actually gonna come thru. And I definitely was half-skeptical about letting him in back there. But my optimism won out, so I jumped in the shower and proceeded to get myself together. I text him and hit him up online, and I got no response to neither. Just like I thought, he's not coming. He's full of shit. I went into the kitchen to fix myself dinner and didn't worry about him. Lo and behold, the muthafucka calls me around 8:30 and told me he was coming. Hot damn, he's actually gonna keep his word. "Is 9:30 cool?" he asked.
"Yeah that's fine," I said.
I can't say I was excited or waiting in anticipation. Lord knows I've met up with many dudes, and he really was no different. I was over the excitement of meeting a dude. He calls me around 9:45 and told me he was down the street, so I went outside to meet him and direct him to a parking spot. I got inside his car and was relieved that he was not a monster. (He showed me a nice pic a good while ago, but by then, I practically forgot what he looked like.) I escorted him into my apartment and directed him into my bedroom. Oh yeah, did I mention he had a bottle of Henny with him? LOL We both sipped on the Henny while watching a porno. He seemed to be more interested in the liquor and porno than me, so I scooted my ass over closer and closer to him, which lead to me kissing on his neck. Then we got to it...
More kissin and lickin, me givin him head, him givin me head. I was just happy that I was gettin any kind of action again after four months. Then he asked me, "You wanna fuck me?"
"Yeah, if that's what you want," I answered. (I'm very laid-back in all aspects of my life.") So out comes the condom and lube, and up pop his legs on my shoulders. He told me he last bottomed back in November, and he seemed to be takin it like a damn pro. First on his back, then doggy, then on his stomach. From the way he was moaning and responding, I take it that he enjoyed what I was giving. And believe me, I enjoyed giving it. I silently patted myself on the back for a good job. After that part was over, I straddled myself across his stomach. As I straddled him, he did what oh so many dudes in the past have done...he tried sticking the head in. I quickly pushed away.
"I just wanted to play with it," he says.
"I don't play like that, especially with no condom," I said back.
"Aight, so get the condom."
*Insert Jeopardy music here*
Hmm...should I let him have some or should I just tell him no. Decisions, decisions. After a few seconds, I got myself off the bed and went to my drawer to get another condom, silently talking to myself the whole time.
Maybe it won't hurt as much as the last time I remember.
He's only about 7.5 inches; I think I can deal with that.
He did let me fuck him; it's only right that I reciprocate.
So I climbed on top of him and tried to guide the car into my tunnel. No luck.
"Let me try another position," he said.
Oh boy, here we go.
So I laid myself on my bed, on my stomach, with my legs off the bed. First I felt fingers, then I eventually felt the thing that reminded me six years ago why I absolutely hated being a bottom. I felt the dick reach the part inside me that truly opened me up and made my cherry go, pop! OMG! I don't know if I can get used to this again! He slowly stroked himself in and out of me. It still hurt me but it actually was pretty good nonetheless. He continued for a good while longer until I decided that enough was enough; the probing was over lol. We bust our collective nuts and the show was officially over.
And with that, my Great Wall of China (Great Wall of Greg?) came tumbling down. I accomplished givin up the booty to somebody that I was on pretty good terms with. And I'm sure it's not gonna be some one time thing. I'll meet up with him again and get reacquainted with this whole versatile thing. I know one thing...we better have a bigger bottle of liquor cause that bitch brought over a little half pint of Henny. I was so over him for that shit! LOL I wanna be nice and inebriated next time so I can really be relaxed. Til next time, my hole will return to normal lol. (I know my crew is gagging right now, but smiling. Right?)
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Independence!
After years of saying how much I was going to/wanted to move out to a spot of my own, on Saturday, April 5th it finally came to fruition. I moved from Somerset to Bayonne. (I'm still kickin myself for doing this at the age of 30, but oh well. Everything happens for a reason.) I chose Bayonne cause it's a pretty nice neighborhood, yet close enough to my job in Jersey City that I can walk to the light rail station. Plus, I save time and money from taking the regular NJ Transit train (one of the worst train systems ever!). Now my commute has been reduced from 50 minutes to 25 minutes. Alriiiiiiiight! And for all those that already live on their own, they know what I'm talkin about when I say how free and independent it feels to come home to a place that's allllllll yours, just the way YOU left it, without hearin nobody's fuckin mouth! You can come and go as you please, have whoever come through, and walk around au natural whenever. (If my walls could talk about that, they would tell you all about that one lol.) But seriously, I felt like by staying at home, I was stifling myself as a man from reaching my full potential, and now I feel like my potential is pretty much limitless now. For so long, I worried about whether I had the economic means or even the determination to live alone. The economic means happened this year (thank God for bonuses!), which in turn triggered my determination. I'm sure my aunt and uncle miss having me there taking care of little things around the house, and I'm sure they miss my portion of the mortgage money too! God has finally blessed with this opportunity, and I jumped at the chance. I'll most likely have a housewarming party, since everybody keeps asking me. Now I just to work on having my special company come over lol. And to all my friends...NO PARTIES at my house. We'll save those for Shawn's spot, cause his spot is the designated location for our kinda parties lol.
I got a steady job, a car, and now my own apartment. My shit is set now! Go head me!
I got a steady job, a car, and now my own apartment. My shit is set now! Go head me!
Friday, March 28, 2008
My Prayer
This is dedicated to one of the best friends I've ever had (love you man!), and to all those going through. Be encouraged!
God, I pray that you come into their lives right now and touch, heal, and comfort their broken hearts and spirits. I ask that You manifest Yourself in their lives by renewing their strength, faith, trust, and joy in You. Don't let them be tricked by the Devil into thinking they are the only ones going through life's problems and they are all alone, for we know that we as humans all go through the same things eventually. Please Lord I ask that You allow them to not be afraid to reach out to You and others for help, because noone can make it through this life entirely on their own. Let them not forget that You have placed us into their lives for a reason, and we are there for them in their time of need. It hurts us to see people we care about go through an emotional transformation when tribulations come, but remind them that You will never give them more than they can bear, and no weapon formed against them shall prosper. All things work together for the good for those that love You. Continue to guide them in Your marvelous light and presence so that they will instantly know that, when storms and trials come, they'll see that storms don't last forever. Order their steps and give them inner peace so that they can rest in the comfort of Your arms. All these things I ask in the mighty name of Jesus...Amen.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
My Milestone (Part 2)
Last night marked the conclusion to my 30th birthday celebration. Part 2's celebration was more sophisticated than Part 1's, taking place at Elmo Restaurant in the Chelsea section of NYC. I rented out the room downstairs, ordered a party tray, and hired a DJ. This was my first year planning any type of party at all, let alone my own party. So it was all a new experience for me, and I was a little anxious and nervous cause I wanted my guests to be comfortable and everything to turn out right.
I planned on arriving at the venue around 8PM (the time I said the party would start). I didn't wanna be one of those hosts that showed up after their guests did. But I ended up getting there about 8:40 (still haven't gotten used to driving to some parts of Manhattan yet lol). But it really didn't matter, cause when I got there, nobody was there anyway. *Sigh* Black people always have be so damn fashionably late lol. About 20 minutes later, my first guest arrives...X. I asked him at the last minute to buy a nice strawberry shortcake, and dude came through. Not only did he have the cake, but he had the candles with the number 30. (Thanks X! Much appreciated!) My second guest Jason arrived about a half hour later. Most of the people didn't get there til 10, and I did my duties as a host and mingled with all of them. I was relieved as I saw everybody talking, laughing, eating, drinking, dancing and just plain having a good time. People really seemed to have liked the restaurant. It did give off a nice aura, so I was proud of myself for picking it. Did I have some drinks? Hell yeah! It's my party! LOL But I promised myself that I would not have a rerun of last week's encounter, so I stuck with Malibu and orange the whole night. (No prayin to the porcelain god this time lol.) I was proud of myself for keeping my own word. Around midnight, the cake was served and the party was starting to wind down. A little more dancing and conversing ensued, and the party was officially over at 1AM. (I later learned that some of my guests snuck upstairs to get pics with the Danity Kane chicks and a pic of Will from Day 26. How dare yall lol.)
After that, my boys Dee and Jason and myself went on over to the Secret Lounge, where we unexpectedly struck up a decent conversation with 2 older white dudes as we waited on line in the cold to get inside. They seemed real cool, but one of em was a little too damn touchy feely and a bit too inquisitive. Leave it to my boy Dee to read him quite well, so I just let them carry on. When we finally got inside, it was crowded as I expected. We made our way to the bar and pretty much stayed there the whole time. (Another Malibu and orange ordered for me, paid for by Dee.) Jason met up with 2 people he knew, while Dee and I just shot the breeze. Eventually, touchy feely white dude spotted us again, so he came over to us. (Yet one more Malibu and orange ordered, paid for by Touchy Feely.) At this point, I was getting pretty tired, so I stepped away from the bar and leaned against the wall while Dee and Touchy Feely conversed. We finally ended up leaving at 4, when it closed.
And this concludes my 30th birthday extravaganza. I just want to thank everybody for helping me celebrate (everybody knows who they are; no need to name all the names). Your presence made it the best birthday I've ever had. Thanks for the love and support!
Shawn and Dee, you're up next. Let's see what yall come up with lol.
I planned on arriving at the venue around 8PM (the time I said the party would start). I didn't wanna be one of those hosts that showed up after their guests did. But I ended up getting there about 8:40 (still haven't gotten used to driving to some parts of Manhattan yet lol). But it really didn't matter, cause when I got there, nobody was there anyway. *Sigh* Black people always have be so damn fashionably late lol. About 20 minutes later, my first guest arrives...X. I asked him at the last minute to buy a nice strawberry shortcake, and dude came through. Not only did he have the cake, but he had the candles with the number 30. (Thanks X! Much appreciated!) My second guest Jason arrived about a half hour later. Most of the people didn't get there til 10, and I did my duties as a host and mingled with all of them. I was relieved as I saw everybody talking, laughing, eating, drinking, dancing and just plain having a good time. People really seemed to have liked the restaurant. It did give off a nice aura, so I was proud of myself for picking it. Did I have some drinks? Hell yeah! It's my party! LOL But I promised myself that I would not have a rerun of last week's encounter, so I stuck with Malibu and orange the whole night. (No prayin to the porcelain god this time lol.) I was proud of myself for keeping my own word. Around midnight, the cake was served and the party was starting to wind down. A little more dancing and conversing ensued, and the party was officially over at 1AM. (I later learned that some of my guests snuck upstairs to get pics with the Danity Kane chicks and a pic of Will from Day 26. How dare yall lol.)
After that, my boys Dee and Jason and myself went on over to the Secret Lounge, where we unexpectedly struck up a decent conversation with 2 older white dudes as we waited on line in the cold to get inside. They seemed real cool, but one of em was a little too damn touchy feely and a bit too inquisitive. Leave it to my boy Dee to read him quite well, so I just let them carry on. When we finally got inside, it was crowded as I expected. We made our way to the bar and pretty much stayed there the whole time. (Another Malibu and orange ordered for me, paid for by Dee.) Jason met up with 2 people he knew, while Dee and I just shot the breeze. Eventually, touchy feely white dude spotted us again, so he came over to us. (Yet one more Malibu and orange ordered, paid for by Touchy Feely.) At this point, I was getting pretty tired, so I stepped away from the bar and leaned against the wall while Dee and Touchy Feely conversed. We finally ended up leaving at 4, when it closed.
And this concludes my 30th birthday extravaganza. I just want to thank everybody for helping me celebrate (everybody knows who they are; no need to name all the names). Your presence made it the best birthday I've ever had. Thanks for the love and support!
Shawn and Dee, you're up next. Let's see what yall come up with lol.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
My Milestone (Part One)
Well folks, on March 15, I celebrated a milestone (by society's standards I guess). I reached the big 3-0. Of course I got the whole 'you're old' comments, but I don't mind that at all. I consider myself an old soul anyway, so I'm embracing it and can't wait to see what God has in store for me as I enter my third decade of life.
It was kind of a last-minute decision for me, but I decided to have a smaller gathering yesterday at my friend Shawn's house. (My REAL party will be at a restaurant in NYC this upcoming Saturday.) It was just like any other typical party...food, drinks, friends, (some) cute boys, and just all-around fun, fun, fun. I really just wanted my closest friends and the friends I've known the longest to be there, and I was happy with the turnout. (Of course there were newer faces there but I didn't mind.)
The party started at 8, but you know black folk don't ever get to parties on time lol. So most of em filed in after 9. Some of my friends presented me with my own personal bottle of liquor (in addition to the bottle of Alize I bought for myself). Hmmm.....I guess I'm officially a lush now lol. My friend Chef Fuzzy cooked a scrumptious meal (made to order) of fried chicken, baked ziti, macaroni & cheese, string beans. Of course I fucked that food up, and so did everybody else that ate. And my other friend, Mama Omar, baked a yellow cake with chocolate frosting (made to order again). Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, whether they were eating, drinking (which yours truly definitely did, more on that later lol), conversing, watching movies, or playing cards. By the time it came for me to cut my cake, the alcohol was seepin up on me. My friends wanted me to do a little speech, but I was never good at that stuff. I basically thanked everybody for comin out and supporting me. I was truly grateful and appreciative. I never dreamed I would have so many friends, cause I was so shy and introverted growing up. I felt truly blessed to have good people around me. After I had a few more drinks, ya boy was RIPPED! I sat my ass down on a chair and didn't get up til.....I ran to the bathroom to throw up. LMAO. I was told later that I had at least 6 drinks, but I only counted 4. Oh well, it's my party and I can throw up if I want to LOL. I was drifting in and out of sleep for much of the early morning, so I didn't get to see most of my guests leave. I was so drunk I couldn't even drive my boi Jay home (sorry Jay lol). I woke up for the last time around 7AM this morning. I didn't have a headache, but I damn sure felt nautious. Had to take some Pepto Bismol to calm my stomach down. Musta been the remnants of the liquor still swimmin around lol.
Oh yeah, and to further prove my theory of one degree of separation in this lifestyle, this dude that I used to mess with showed up too. I didn't have his new number, and I didn't think he knew anybody I knew but, alas, he did. I was kinda surprised to see him, but I quickly got over it. He showed up with his boyfriend (that he left his girlfriend for lol).
So that was my first birthday celebration. The upcoming one this Saturday will be more sophisticated (and most likely have more people). You know what that means....that I will not be passed out nowhere in a drunken stupor lol. I'll keep yall posted...
It was kind of a last-minute decision for me, but I decided to have a smaller gathering yesterday at my friend Shawn's house. (My REAL party will be at a restaurant in NYC this upcoming Saturday.) It was just like any other typical party...food, drinks, friends, (some) cute boys, and just all-around fun, fun, fun. I really just wanted my closest friends and the friends I've known the longest to be there, and I was happy with the turnout. (Of course there were newer faces there but I didn't mind.)
The party started at 8, but you know black folk don't ever get to parties on time lol. So most of em filed in after 9. Some of my friends presented me with my own personal bottle of liquor (in addition to the bottle of Alize I bought for myself). Hmmm.....I guess I'm officially a lush now lol. My friend Chef Fuzzy cooked a scrumptious meal (made to order) of fried chicken, baked ziti, macaroni & cheese, string beans. Of course I fucked that food up, and so did everybody else that ate. And my other friend, Mama Omar, baked a yellow cake with chocolate frosting (made to order again). Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, whether they were eating, drinking (which yours truly definitely did, more on that later lol), conversing, watching movies, or playing cards. By the time it came for me to cut my cake, the alcohol was seepin up on me. My friends wanted me to do a little speech, but I was never good at that stuff. I basically thanked everybody for comin out and supporting me. I was truly grateful and appreciative. I never dreamed I would have so many friends, cause I was so shy and introverted growing up. I felt truly blessed to have good people around me. After I had a few more drinks, ya boy was RIPPED! I sat my ass down on a chair and didn't get up til.....I ran to the bathroom to throw up. LMAO. I was told later that I had at least 6 drinks, but I only counted 4. Oh well, it's my party and I can throw up if I want to LOL. I was drifting in and out of sleep for much of the early morning, so I didn't get to see most of my guests leave. I was so drunk I couldn't even drive my boi Jay home (sorry Jay lol). I woke up for the last time around 7AM this morning. I didn't have a headache, but I damn sure felt nautious. Had to take some Pepto Bismol to calm my stomach down. Musta been the remnants of the liquor still swimmin around lol.
Oh yeah, and to further prove my theory of one degree of separation in this lifestyle, this dude that I used to mess with showed up too. I didn't have his new number, and I didn't think he knew anybody I knew but, alas, he did. I was kinda surprised to see him, but I quickly got over it. He showed up with his boyfriend (that he left his girlfriend for lol).
So that was my first birthday celebration. The upcoming one this Saturday will be more sophisticated (and most likely have more people). You know what that means....that I will not be passed out nowhere in a drunken stupor lol. I'll keep yall posted...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
