Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Online Meet/Hookup Genesis

I was a senior in college back in November 2000 and, after much wrangling with myself for years, I made a very big decision in my life: I decided that I was going to enter the homosexual lifestyle full force. I knew I didn't want a relationship, just some dudes to give me a good time, be it friends or otherwise (*wink*). But then another issue arose: how would I go about meeting dudes? I didn't hang around with any gay people, nor did I know of any family members who were, so meeting dudes from family and friends was out of the question. Neither was me approaching a dude off the street (I was much too introverted for that) or in a bar or club (I wasn't going to any back then). My options were getting slim to none. Then one day, one of my coworkers told me about a Web site that he frequented often, mostly while at work. It was a site that had a lots of females of all ages, races, and backgrounds from all parts of the country, and how you can go to their pages to see what they're all about, who they are, what they're looking for, etc. But most of all (and this the part that really piqued my interest), if they really like you, you can meet them face-to-face, and take it from there. The site was called Hmmm, it sounds interesting. I wonder if I can do the same with dudes, I wondered to myself. So a few weeks later, I created a page of my own and started to slowly peruse the site. I couldn't really say I was blown away by everything, but there were some things that I was impressed with. And it didn't take me long to figure out other alternatives on the site: there were gay and bisexual dudes on there too. That was my jackpot moment lol. And for me, it killed multiple birds with one stone: I didn't have to worry about 1) approaching dudes off the street or clubs and 2) having other people find out all my business due to the informality. Hell, I basically controlled who I met and when and where (when that time came of course). Where has this site been all my life?

The next step in the process was...who was going to be the first dude I met off the site? I started doing a search of all the dudes in Newark. I lived there and was going to school there, so convenience was necessary. I read the pages of a few dudes. The ones I really liked I sent them a message (I don't think it could've been anymore than "Wassup" or something like that). A few days later, one dude replied, saying to leave him some contact information so we can talk faster. I left him my phone number, and he called me the next day when I was in my dorm room. He was asking me where I was and if I wanted to meet him. I agreed to go to his house about 15 minutes away to meet up with him. On my way there, I was quite nervous and anxious, cause this was so new to me. I just hoped that everything turned out alright, and he wasn't ugly or a damn weirdo lol. I stepped up to his door and rang the doorbell, and a few seconds later he opens the door and lets me in. To my relief, he wasn't ugly. He wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but he also wasn't a monster either. Whew! One issue down! He was about 6', 180 lbs, dark brown skinned, moustache and goatee. I was content. We sat down on his bed and small-talked for about 30 minutes. Then he asks me the question that most homosexuals have heard over and over again: Are you a top or a bottom? What the fuck is he talking about? What should I say to him? "I'm both," I lied. "Oh, so your're versatile," he replied. I nodded my head. "Well I'm a top," he said. "Oh," I said back, figuring out in my own head that I guess he meant he likes to do the fucking. "I wanna do something with!" he blurts out. "OK," I replied nonchalantly. He moves closer to me, unbuttons my jeans and proceeds to give me head. Watching his head go up and down and the feel of the the suction on my penis, I laid back in enjoyment and determined that I could get used to this homo thing, and it was turning out just the way I liked. I then returned the favor and gave him some head, while he laid back and moaned. He then reached inside the back of my boxers and played with my tight hole with his finger. Can't say that it was a good feeling, but I tolerated it because I assumed it was part of the whole process, and him being a top and all. Next, he lays on my back, lifts my legs up and plays with my hole with his wet, warm tongue. Oh hell yeah I can get used to this! Then kissing and grinding soon followed. But the ecstasy left soon after and the pain began...he sticks his penis into my tight hole and keeps on pressing. I almost felt tears come to my eyes, for it was the most unbearable pain I had ever felt in my life. How the fuck am I gonna get used to this shit??? How do other dudes do this? After many attempts, he only managed to get a little bit past the head of his penis inside me, but it mind as well have been the whole 8.5 inches if you ask me lol. I was just glad he stopped trying after a while. And besides, he said he had to go. We put on our clothes, and I agreed to drive him to whereever he had to go. He shakes my hand, tells me to call him sometime, and gets out my car. So began my genesis of the online meet/greet/hookup.

Cut to a few weeks ago (and many, many online hookups/meetings later lol). I was bored at home after a long day of work and decided to create a page on My coworkers (both the sexy one and cute one, natch lol) told me a little about it. My curiosity got the best of me, so I wanted to see if it was really worth writing home about. To me, it was just like any other site: age, location, sex, interests, blah blah blah. Then I saw it....Interested in Men or Women? Here we go again. What should I select? I decided to leave that part blank. Why? Because I honestly don't know what the hell I wanna use the site for. Networking? Hookup? Friendship? I would be happy if I never met another dude online again. It was my high for about 8 years, and now, just like weed or any other damn drug, the high was coming down. No longer was I nervous or even excited about online hookups. I've met enough good and bad dudes to last me pretty much the rest of my life. It just got repetitious. And the way I see it, in this lifestyle, fuck six degrees of separation. There's only ONE degree of separation! It's only a matter of time you meet someone that knows/hooked up with someone you know or met. Don't get me wrong, I occasionally slip back into that online hookup (hey, it's a guilty pleasure sometimes lol), but I'm basically done with all the hype of it.

So now I turn the spotlight on you. What was the underlying reason why you decided to create an online page? What was your first experience like? How do you feel about online hookup sites now? Tell me your genesis story.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

My Labor Day Weekend

I haven't posted in a little while, so I'll fill in the gap by talking about my past weekend.......

- After work on Friday, all I kept thinking about was going to the liquor store lol. So as soon as I walked back to my car after getting off the train, that's exactly what I did. I owed it to myself; I haven't had a drink on a Friday night in about a month or so. So I sat in my apartment and enjoyed the company of Mr. Bacardi. He entertained me very well lol.

- Saturday morning I was supposed to help volunteer for a kid's picnic, but it was postponed because of all the talk about rain (which explains why I was drinking on Friday night). I absolutely HATE waking up early on Saturdays, so I was so glad that I had yet another Saturday where I can just sleep in.

Later on that evening, I made my way over to BBQs in Manhattan to attend a birthday dinner for a friend. I was told by the b-day boy that everyone should be there by 8:45. He should've known better than to think that black people were gonna be on time somewhere! There were people showing up at 9:30, 10:00. And to make matters worse.....he invited over 20 people! WTF?! There was only one person I knew previously; everybody else was a bunch of new faces. I only talked to a handful of them though. One of them was a dude from VA. He seemed very cool and down to earth, so I had no problem talking to him. We finally got seated around 10:30. I was so over that function by then, but I couldn't just walk out on the birthday boy. And besides, I was enjoying the conversation of VA dude and a few others, so that kinda eased my mind about waiting so fuckin long to get seated.

I finished my food around midnight, and by that time I was VERY ready to go. I also promised my sexy coworker that I would come to his house for a cookout/gathering in the Bronx (more on him later). But VA dude asked me if I would drive him to Harlem to drop him off at his frat brother's house, where he was staying for the weekend. He also informed me that he was having some kinda party there, and I can just have a drink and go. Sounds good to me....get a free drink and bounce. No brainer lol. And his house was pretty much in the same direction as the way I was going to my coworker's house, so I didn't mind. When I stepped in his frat brother's house, all I felt was heat! It was sooooooooo mutha fuckin hot in his house! There were a good amount of people there, but it wasn't packed. Man I couldn't wait to get the hell outta there. So after about a half hour or so, I said goodbye to VA dude, his frat brother and some other people that I briefly met and headed out the door.

I got to my sexy coworker's house well after 1AM, but he was still there talking to his brother and cousin (both of whom I've gotten to know). He sees me and hugs me the manly way (one-armed hug), then he shocks me (in a good way) and throws both of his arms and presses his well-toned body against mine. If only he knew how much my gay ass wanted him, he would not be doing that, I thought to myself. But maaaaaaaaaan, I was so glad he did! LOL I didn't want him to let me go. I think I've established a pretty good bond with him (hell, I would call it a friendship at this point). He invites me to every cookout/gathering that his family has now. His moms and family members all like me and ask about me, wondering if I'm gonna be at the next event. Shit, I guess I'm officially adopted by them now lol. Oh yeah, and I spent the night at his house cause I was a little tipsy from the beers and pretty tired (it was about 4 or 5:00 by this time). And here's the kicker....he laid out a blanket for me to lay on on the floor and laid right next to me. I have never had anybody do that to me before. Was I gonna say anything? You must be out ya damn mind lol. I was gonna enjoy every second of having him next to me like that. Now if only he can lay on top of me....ahhhhh wishful thinking lol. I ended up leaving his house around 9 Sunday morning.

- Sunday was church, and later that day I was convinced by another friend to go to some local bar/lounge not too far away. I met up with 5 other people. It was free to get in (thank God), and I told myself I would only get one drink (a beer or somethin). But I was waiting so long at the bar for one of the two bartenders that the people I met up with were over the place and decided to leave. Not that I minded; I wasn't really feelin the place anyway, so I was glad to be leaving.

Three of us decided to head to lower Manhattan to see what was goin on. We ended up goin to one bar (one more drink) and one club (yet another drink). Both places I didn't really like too much (could've been both the music and the people), but I'm not really one to complain. And besides, I wasn't the driver so if the driver wanted to say, too damn bad for me.

We left that and went to a house party in Harlem (NYC really saw my face all weekend lol). Don't ask me why they were charging people $10 to get in like it's a bona fide club or somethin, and I begrudgingly paid the fee. There I met up with another one of my friends. (And no I didn't buy any more drinks lol.) The music was right (mostly house music and reggae), so I was gonna dance off that $10 I had to pay. I also talked most of the night to a dude that was originally from Philly, but moved to the Bronx. He was very sociable and pretty easy on the eyes. Body was decent too. He had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop him from asking for my number so that we can hang out sometime. I had a pretty nice time, and we practically stayed til it was over (about 4:30). I got home around 6 (while texting the Philly dude most the way home).

- Monday I went to visit my brother over in PA and see my nieces and nephew. It seemed like it took forever to get to his house, but it was about a good hour and a half. I killed two birds with one stone with the visit: I wanted to see them cause I kinda felt guilty about going so long without me seeing them (it's been almost a year), and I had to fix some kinda computer problem they were having. So I was proud of myself for accomplishing both.

And did I forget to mention that my sexy coworker wanted me to come to yet another bbq/gathering at his house, and to bring my work clothes? LOL He really, really likes me. And he told his moms that I was gonna be there. But I knew that I was not gonna be really up to going to his house after I got home. And I did not want to go straight to work from somebody else's house. Shit, my commute would've increased from 20 minutes to well over an hour. That shit was not happenin! LOL But just to save face, I called him when I was on my way home around 7:45 and told him that I had at least an hour ride home before I even began to make my way there. I was so glad when he told me that everybody was packin it in for the night anyway, and to forget comin thru. But a part of me did kinda wanna see him. Damn! I must be infatuated lol. (Today at work, he tells me how much I was missed the day before.)

So that was my fun-filled weekend. Hope you all enjoyed yours.