Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Online Meet/Hookup Genesis

I was a senior in college back in November 2000 and, after much wrangling with myself for years, I made a very big decision in my life: I decided that I was going to enter the homosexual lifestyle full force. I knew I didn't want a relationship, just some dudes to give me a good time, be it friends or otherwise (*wink*). But then another issue arose: how would I go about meeting dudes? I didn't hang around with any gay people, nor did I know of any family members who were, so meeting dudes from family and friends was out of the question. Neither was me approaching a dude off the street (I was much too introverted for that) or in a bar or club (I wasn't going to any back then). My options were getting slim to none. Then one day, one of my coworkers told me about a Web site that he frequented often, mostly while at work. It was a site that had a lots of females of all ages, races, and backgrounds from all parts of the country, and how you can go to their pages to see what they're all about, who they are, what they're looking for, etc. But most of all (and this the part that really piqued my interest), if they really like you, you can meet them face-to-face, and take it from there. The site was called Hmmm, it sounds interesting. I wonder if I can do the same with dudes, I wondered to myself. So a few weeks later, I created a page of my own and started to slowly peruse the site. I couldn't really say I was blown away by everything, but there were some things that I was impressed with. And it didn't take me long to figure out other alternatives on the site: there were gay and bisexual dudes on there too. That was my jackpot moment lol. And for me, it killed multiple birds with one stone: I didn't have to worry about 1) approaching dudes off the street or clubs and 2) having other people find out all my business due to the informality. Hell, I basically controlled who I met and when and where (when that time came of course). Where has this site been all my life?

The next step in the process was...who was going to be the first dude I met off the site? I started doing a search of all the dudes in Newark. I lived there and was going to school there, so convenience was necessary. I read the pages of a few dudes. The ones I really liked I sent them a message (I don't think it could've been anymore than "Wassup" or something like that). A few days later, one dude replied, saying to leave him some contact information so we can talk faster. I left him my phone number, and he called me the next day when I was in my dorm room. He was asking me where I was and if I wanted to meet him. I agreed to go to his house about 15 minutes away to meet up with him. On my way there, I was quite nervous and anxious, cause this was so new to me. I just hoped that everything turned out alright, and he wasn't ugly or a damn weirdo lol. I stepped up to his door and rang the doorbell, and a few seconds later he opens the door and lets me in. To my relief, he wasn't ugly. He wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but he also wasn't a monster either. Whew! One issue down! He was about 6', 180 lbs, dark brown skinned, moustache and goatee. I was content. We sat down on his bed and small-talked for about 30 minutes. Then he asks me the question that most homosexuals have heard over and over again: Are you a top or a bottom? What the fuck is he talking about? What should I say to him? "I'm both," I lied. "Oh, so your're versatile," he replied. I nodded my head. "Well I'm a top," he said. "Oh," I said back, figuring out in my own head that I guess he meant he likes to do the fucking. "I wanna do something with!" he blurts out. "OK," I replied nonchalantly. He moves closer to me, unbuttons my jeans and proceeds to give me head. Watching his head go up and down and the feel of the the suction on my penis, I laid back in enjoyment and determined that I could get used to this homo thing, and it was turning out just the way I liked. I then returned the favor and gave him some head, while he laid back and moaned. He then reached inside the back of my boxers and played with my tight hole with his finger. Can't say that it was a good feeling, but I tolerated it because I assumed it was part of the whole process, and him being a top and all. Next, he lays on my back, lifts my legs up and plays with my hole with his wet, warm tongue. Oh hell yeah I can get used to this! Then kissing and grinding soon followed. But the ecstasy left soon after and the pain began...he sticks his penis into my tight hole and keeps on pressing. I almost felt tears come to my eyes, for it was the most unbearable pain I had ever felt in my life. How the fuck am I gonna get used to this shit??? How do other dudes do this? After many attempts, he only managed to get a little bit past the head of his penis inside me, but it mind as well have been the whole 8.5 inches if you ask me lol. I was just glad he stopped trying after a while. And besides, he said he had to go. We put on our clothes, and I agreed to drive him to whereever he had to go. He shakes my hand, tells me to call him sometime, and gets out my car. So began my genesis of the online meet/greet/hookup.

Cut to a few weeks ago (and many, many online hookups/meetings later lol). I was bored at home after a long day of work and decided to create a page on My coworkers (both the sexy one and cute one, natch lol) told me a little about it. My curiosity got the best of me, so I wanted to see if it was really worth writing home about. To me, it was just like any other site: age, location, sex, interests, blah blah blah. Then I saw it....Interested in Men or Women? Here we go again. What should I select? I decided to leave that part blank. Why? Because I honestly don't know what the hell I wanna use the site for. Networking? Hookup? Friendship? I would be happy if I never met another dude online again. It was my high for about 8 years, and now, just like weed or any other damn drug, the high was coming down. No longer was I nervous or even excited about online hookups. I've met enough good and bad dudes to last me pretty much the rest of my life. It just got repetitious. And the way I see it, in this lifestyle, fuck six degrees of separation. There's only ONE degree of separation! It's only a matter of time you meet someone that knows/hooked up with someone you know or met. Don't get me wrong, I occasionally slip back into that online hookup (hey, it's a guilty pleasure sometimes lol), but I'm basically done with all the hype of it.

So now I turn the spotlight on you. What was the underlying reason why you decided to create an online page? What was your first experience like? How do you feel about online hookup sites now? Tell me your genesis story.


Trackstar said...

Hahaha your gonna laugh but i actualy got on blackplanet at the same time i was in the 8th grade when i went on there. I was just being a curious lil boi didnt really care about sex just was looking for someone i could say was my boifriend. Back then a boifriend to me was just someone that was gay that i could talk to all the time and flirt with i didnt even think about meeting anyone in person because i wasnt even allowed to go on the train alone at that age. So clearly my first online experience was different then yours lol

Darius T. Williams said...

I couldn't dare tell my genesis story - I'll make good money off of it pretty soon. You'll just have to wait and see - lol.

Jay said...

My first online page was blackplanet also. Everyone I knew in college had one so I decided to create a page just to see what it was all about. I didn't create it to meet people, just wanted to see what the uproar was all about.

NYqt said...

lol Oo..nah my start was on craigslist...'men seeking men' section...was college and didnt findo ut out about BGC or A4A etc till my first fuk buddy on there the same one i first topped n bottomed with...hmmmm

Promiscuous X said...

Wow...why was I laughing my ass off when you said he kept trying and trying...I swear that brought back a bad experience. when I first started off really messing with dudes. I didnt know what the hell a top or bottom was either. I'm not gone say I got use to being a bottom cuz its not a good feeling. After a while, I realized I'd rather be versatile. Sometimes I felt like getn banged out but sometimes I wanted to bang out lol. I started on the NJ RAVEN though. I meet like 10dudes on there. I wish my first real experience was one on one but It actually happened in a 4sum with this dude. I just learned about bgc about 2 yrs ago. I know Ima catch sum slack for this comment but oh well lol

fuzzy said...

I didn't have a black planet or a networking website for my first. I was on or .com or something! I didn't know anywhere to look and I saw something on tv for lavalife and manline was the gay version of So What made me want to go on, was porn! I had been experiencing feelings and imagining myself having sex and what it would feel like when I got myself off. They seemed to be really enjoying themselves. I wanted to enjoy myself too! So I went looking for my a suitor. My first full blown sex experience was with two spanish guys and it was a threesome. I loved it!

ShawnQt said...

My first online experiences would have to be AOL chatrooms. They had like one room for m4m. So I would talk to people on there, as well as blackplanet. Do u remember

I never met guys for sex cause I was a virgin for most of my life, and too scared to really meet people. But I did fall for a couple of guys on there.

I tried to avoid a4a and bgc like the plague for years, but ended up on adam like around 25. Actually if my memory recalls, the only person I met off Adam ended up being my boyfriend for 2.5 years. Go Figure!

Soldier said...

Uggggh @ tryin to just stick it in as if it was some kinda vagina. Some people need to be shot in a toe. that's my opinion.

First online page was at :
Basically a teenager thing, no hookups or anything.

i had a bgc page for a year now and i use it for the good laughs... what's said in the forums, chat rooms, or even in the conversations is so retarded... i discovered a whole new category of people on this site, it was a good experiment

ThisMightBeMe said...

My first online hook-up experience started with AOL chatrooms in high school.
I didn't actually do the deed(s) till college via

That Dude Right There said...

Oh my. I had to think waaaaaaayyy back on this one. My first online experience was with And That was 10 years ago when dial up was all the rage!!!

I started using a4a in 2004 and met my first online person that same year. That's when I quickly learned that guys mostly want to meet up for sex.