Monday, November 26, 2007

A Family Member at Work! (Conclusion)

This is the conclusion to my previous blog with the same title....

Well folks, my curiosity finally got the best of me about my work "family member." Today, as I celebrated my 2nd day of vacation, I casually exchanged e-mails with him (hell, I was bored and wanted to talk to him). Thankfully, he was willing to return the e-mails. So then he asks me to help him set up his 401K account, which warranted a phone call. As I was helping him set up his account, I heard him laugh. I asked, "What are you laughing at?" His reply: "At my manager." So I said, "Oh, so are you and your manager having a kee kee moment?" His reply: "Down!" (emphasis on the word of course) After this (and many other) discussions, my intuitions were damn near eating me alive, and I had to know for myself what was up with this dude. I slowly started to drop hints at him. This was our e-mail exchange:

Me: I have a question to ask you, but I don't know how you're gonna react. It's kinda personal.
Him: Then don't ask lol.
Me: LOL then it's gonna eat away at me. I wanna ask you cause I think you cool as hell, but I also don't want you to think less of me (or vice versa). *Sigh* What's a brotha to do?
Him: Lol nah I hear u, but we r just getting to be cool n I would not wanna mess that up. So just leave it alone lol.
Me: Do I have to leave it alone? LOL But for real, I know we're still gonna be cool. But dammit, my inquisitive side is getting the best of me. I gotta get this weight off my shoulder lol. I don't wanna ask you at work though.
Him: Go just ask. goes...I took a deep breath and slowly typed what I had wanted to ask him for months now....

Me: Do you get down?

I hesitated for a few seconds and finally built up the strength to push the "Send" button. As I awaited his response, all kinds of thoughts came to my head:

What if he does? Has he been watching me too? Am I finally gonna have some real fun at work? (LOL) Was my sexual preference now gonna come up at work in the presence of other coworkers?
What would I say/do if he says no? How would he take it? Is he gonna be offended I even asked him that?
Why did I even ask him in the first place? Why did I let my curiosity take over me like that?

I'm sure many more thoughts came to my head, but I didn't have time to think of more, cause the reply finally came back. Ohhhhhhhhhh boy! The moment of truth!

Him: How did I know that's what u wanted to ask? Well sir, no I don't. But a good friend of mine does. N that's where I get some of the "how u doin" stuff from. Cuz I think its funny. N when u hang out with someone u usually pick up their outragous behavior, as in my case. But u do?? I am asking. Wouldn't make a difference to me.

Shit, he was being honest with me. The cat's almost all outta the bag, so I figured that this was the perfect time for me to tell him...

Me: Yup, I do.'re the first person that knows (outside of my friends that also get down). My own family doesn't even know, cause you know how we as black people can be!
Him: Nah. I kinda knew u did. That's y I kee-d with u about shit. I wanted ask. But I was like nah just leave it. But hell yeah we still cool. I respect u for who u r, and u have shown me who u are. So it doesn't matter what u do privately. But u kept saying "my boys my boys" about your people n I was like he definitely gets down lol.

O my! Let me find out he had his gaydar on the whole time lol. Apparently, I've been outting myself slowly around him. Oh well. But damn am I glad he took the news the way he did! I feel like a weight is lifted from my shoulders. I have NEVER told a coworker that I get down. Hell, my family doesn't even know! Now I feel like I can talk to him about anything, and I won't feel ashamed or judged (as black folk can do). Even though he doesn't proclaim to be a true family member, I can confide in him and make him an honorary member. Yaaaaaaaaay I didn't lose my kee kee partner! But shit! Now all my fantasies about him will remain just that...fantasies. Oh well....can't win em all lol.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Yes, I Want This Love

Those that really know me know my feelings about men and relationships. I am reminded of a song by Elton John called "I Want Love." I think it pretty much describes my views, for better or worse. I finally got around to finding the video on YouTube and decided to post it. I don't expect a whole lot of people to relate to it. But just listen to the words more than watching the video. This is my kinda love. If you don't like it, too damn bad LOL.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

It's Nice to Have Family....Right???

The following posting was originally on my Livejournal page back in March. Since I'm a full-fledged Blogger now, I decided to put it on here. I made a few changes, but the bulk of it is still the same. Read on my fellow Bloggers...

I've been living with my aunt since 1993 after my mother's death. It was just the two of us until 1996, when she decided to (finally) get married. Back in 1999 or 2000 (when I was still in college), she came to me and asked if I would put my name down on a finance plan for some dental work that she needed done. Her credit was too bad (and so was her husband's) so, as a good and caring family member, I agreed to do it. Back then, my credit was excellent, so I saw no problem. And she told me that she was gonna keep up with paying the bill so that it wouldn't reflect negatively on my credit report. Hell, she was the one who instilled in me the importance of having good credit, so no worries.

Things were going well at first. The bill came every month, and I would pass it along to her so that it could be paid. For the first year or two I just assumed everything was fine. A few years ago, I noticed something weird that showed up on my credit report, then gradually the bills and phone calls from the collection agency came. I had my first discussion with her about it, and she again promised me that she "would take care of it." Me being naive (or just plain fuckin stupid!) took her at her word and didn't mention much about it again.

Earlier this year, the dreaded letter appeared in the was a letter from the Somerset County Courthouse, and I now was being sued for the full amount (about $2,700!) I found out that she did not make ONE SINGLE PAYMENT since 2001!! As if I don't have my own damn bills to about, now I gotta worry about this one. I walked my pissed-off ass into her bedroom and showed her the court letter. When I asked her why
the hell she didn't take care of it before, she simply replies, "I forgot." You forgot???? You ain't forget to ask me to put my name down for this fuckin bill!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I don't think I ever felt more used and taken advantage of in my whole life. And to add insult to injury, she calls herself being Christian and gave herself the title of "Evangelist." Hmph! All she did was apologize to me, but I was in no mood to hear any apologies. That shit was for the birds a long time ago! All I wanted to see was money being exchanged. This is definitely going to affect my apartment search (since landlords look at credit reports), which is further adding to my frustration. I'm worried I might get stuck living at home even longer, at a time when I'm really tryin to change that. * Big sigh*

UPDATE: I ended up going to court this summer on my own (cause my fuckin aunt told me that she "wouldn't be able to make it") and speaking with the law firm that was suing me. (The law firm paid the bill to the collection agency, and now they were looking to recover that money from me.) With the help of a mediator, I agreed that I would pay them 80% of the total payment (roughly $2,200), which will be broken down into monthly installments of $300. After the bill has been paid in full, a letter will be sent from them to all 3 credit bureaus informing them that this bill has been satisfied. (This is the only thing on my credit report that is seriously delinquent.) What a hard lesson this was for me. I should've gotten something in writing from my aunt agreeing that she was going to pay the bill, cause I didn't have a leg to stand on by the time I got to court. They are not gonna wanna hear shit about how I thought my aunt was taking care of it. My name and social security number is on the bill, so that makes me (and me alone) responsible. Case closed. (Oh, did I mention that she has worked for various law firms for 30 years???). I love my aunt but I am disgusted by what she did. I have made it my top priority to get this bill paid by mid-2008 and not let anything like this happen to me ever again. Nice to have family, right? Right?!