Sunday, June 1, 2008

Sex...The Highest Low?

As how it is most times during the week, my coworker (the one I blogged about) comes over to my desk after his shift is over to chat and shoot the breeze with me. I always enjoy talking with him, and even after I told him that I got down, he never looked down on me in any kind of judgmental way; he's always treated me the same. I think the main reason why I'm so cool with my coworker is that he reminds me so much of myself when I was his age (24)...he's young but he certainly doesn't carry himself like the average 24 year old. He's sophisticated, kinda laid-back, not very promiscuous (I can count on one hand how many sex stories he's told me), and mostly about his business (when he's not payin somebody dust lol). I can honestly say we have a friendship. We normally just laugh talk about coworkers, who was givin shade for the day, how he had to pay his manager dust, etc. (For a dude that claims to be straight, he sure kee kee-s like a good ole homo, but that's neither here nor there lol.) Anyway, he proceeds to tell me about his trip to Miami and the Dominican Republic, for which he enjoyed himself. Then he just said something that really took me off guard. It seemed to have come out of nowhere, although I know it was something he decided a while ago.

"I'm taking six months off," he blurted out.
"Six months off what?" I asked.

He then makes the symbol of sexual intercourse on his hand balled up into an O shape, with the index finger of the other hand going in and out of the O.

"Ohhhhhhhhh!" I responded incredulously, "Are you serious?"
"Yup," he answered, "I feel so much stronger when I don't do it."
"That's funny. I don't feel stronger until I get it in," I joked. "Well you know the weather's gettin nice. I wish you the best on that."

Even though I was kinda caught off guard by his revelation, now that I think about it it doesn't surprise me as much, knowing all that I know about him at this point.

The next day I marinated on what he said...I feel so much stronger when I don't do it. I assumed he meant physically, but it can also mean mentally. I mean hell, sex does have a way of clouding people's minds from making good judgments.
I do remember him telling me that he was with his ex-girlfriend for 4 years (from ages 16-20). Now he's just casually talking to one or two girls. Maybe he feels like if he doesn't have sex, he doesn't have to worry about all the other feelings or emotions and whatever else that comes with the territory of interacting with someone else. I have to pick his brain a little more about this. I can't really say I relate to what he's saying. Even though I have no desire of getting into a relationship, I still have the need to express myself physically with someone else. (Masturbation can only satisfy me for so long, as much I really enjoy it. It's the horny side of me talking lol.) I'm experiencing new-found physical expressions with this dude from Elizabeth (from a few blogs ago). Shit, if his horny ass had his way, we'd be fuckin every day. He was gonna come over this past Friday, but he got lost, then frustrated, then went back home. We've only had sex twice so far, and I honestly do feel better. It's the best stress reliever (not to mention calorie burner). I don't consider myself to be all that great in sex, but it does something to your ego when your partner is moaning and screaming in ecstasy from what you're giving them. You feel like a muthafuckin champ! LOL

But I know there has to be someone else that is going through (or can at least relate) to what my coworker is going through. So now I pose this question to all you bloggers out there...I always thought that sex was supposed to create a sense of well-being. But is/was there ever a time when the joy of sex took something out of you other than physically? Did you ever feel at a low point after you did the do? How? Why? My interest has been piqued now.


Thoughts said...

Honestly I have felt low after sex. But its usually when I have did it just to do it. Maybe when I go back to an ex and just get it in because I know I emotion, no passion, no anything...just a nut.

Jay said...

I understand your co-worker. On one level, the empowerment of being able to completely control one of our most primal urges is great. Its a sense of fulfillment and control. With sex you give control away. Give power to your urge, your body and/or another. I have given up sexual contact on numerous ocassion, and my life seemed simplier, less stress, even though the urge to join in activities with another grew.

ShawnQt said...

is/was there ever a time when the joy of sex took something out of you other than physically?

When it was used to only peak a curiosity and hurt someone else's feelings.

Did you ever feel at a low point after you did the do? How? Why?

When the sexual interaction was not as high for them as it was for me. When both people aren't enjoying it, then it becomes very disheartening.

Prince Xem VanAdams-Lumumba said...

Broh...I KNOW Xactly how it feels for me, when the statement is made, 'I feel Stronger'.

I was involved in an OnAgain-OffAgain relationship, between 2001and 2005. Though Ive never had a Very STRONG Sexual Apetite, He did. As a result, even WHEN we were 'Broken-Up', we'd still 'Mess Around'...'Hook-Up' and have various modes of Sex. Whenever he would initiate Oral or anything MORE, I felt STRONG within myself, to turn him away, and to Ignore the advances and Temptations.
...even with another Special Dude, in my life, who I have this Back-and-Forth antic with; its Strength behind Ignoring the Desires and NOT giving into the Temptations. This is ESPECIALLY True, as it pertains to the fact that He always Wants a relationship with Me when Im COMFORTABLE being Single, and Vice Versa. The Lack of Sex TRULY Makes the relationship easier and less complicated.

YoungBlack&DL said...

Most of the Time!

Most of the time, I am left feeling bad after sex, and regret doing it. I truly regret most of my sexual past.

The reason for me, is, I think because most of the time, I'm just after a good nut or blow job, and I really don't associate any real or true feelings in it, like whoever my sex partner is too. Also, it usually isn't all that great, of sex!

I did feel strong and rejuvenated recently, when I decided not to have any kind of sexual activity, right away, becasue I thought we connected on another level, where I wasn't ready to take it to sex right way, like I usually do. I had even decided no mater how hot we get, I wasn't going to take it there, because of that feeling.