True 'What the Fuck' Moments

This one was too good to not blog about lol....

Today when I was on my lunch break around 2:30, I get a phone call from a number I do not recognize. Usually when that happens (and today was no exception), I let my phone go to VM. The way I see it, if it's really important, they'll just leave a damn message. Lo and behold, the person sure did leave one. I didn't check the VM right away. I waited til about 5 or so. Half because I was still relatively busy at work, and half because I forgot. When I finally got around to checking it, it was from this dude I went to high school with that I just got reacquainted with through another HS classmate's baby shower a few months ago. (I gave him my business card and put my cell number on it. I'm a corporate homo lol. But I also like to help people in any way I can. And besides, I might need him again one day in life and vice versa, and I've learned to not burn bridges). Not to put people down or anything, he's a nice dude but the dude's head ain't screwed in too tight lol. (When I saw him walking into the building for the baby shower, he was carrying on a conversation with himself.) Anyway, the VM (through all the stuttering and pauses he made) said that he had something to ask me, and it was "very, very important." Hmmm....what the hell could he want with me? So I finally returned his call, and he proceeds to tell me that "the issue is now settled" and how he felt "embarrassed" to even ask me now.
"Well you already spent time leaving me the VM, so you mind as well tell me," I replied. *Another pause from him* "Ummm....do you have five big ones? I have to start class soon."
W....T.....F #1! Did he just ask me what I think he just asked me, I thought to myself. I don't even give my family members money like that! Why I give that much to somebody I barely even remember from high school?! I quickly regained my composure and asked him, "Are you talkin about $500?" "Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm askin," he said.
"Sorry man, I can't help you there," I said.
"Oh ok," was his only reply.

So then the conversation moves toward him going to a job fair tomorrow and how he's looking for work. I ask him what field is he looking in, and he tells me "something in a warehouse" (he worked for both Fed Ex and UPS in their shipping department). I don't think he went/finished college, and based on his eccentricities, it was kinda hard for him to find much else. I told him I knew somebody that I believed still worked at this warehouse
in Woodbridge and would contact him to see if his job was hiring and get back to him. I called the dude and left him a VM. And guess what, the weird dude calls me back again about a half hour later wanting to know if I heard from the dude. "No. I left him a VM. I'll let you know when he calls me back."
"Aight," he says, and hangs up. Just as I pull up to my house (8:30), I get another phone call from you-know-who. W...T...F #2! At this point, I'm just annoyed as hell. What the fuck is he callin me again for, I say to myself. I'm not returning his call til after I finish eating. So around 9:15 I prepared myself mentally for what I was about to hear from this dude.
"Oh, I forgot to ask you, do you know if this dude has morning shifts at his job?"
*Sighing in my mind* "I don't know man, he still hasn't called me back yet. Once I know something I'll make sure to call you back."

As of 10:35, no call back from dude lol. I guess he finally got the point now and gave his fingers a rest from dialing my number. Just had to share my 'what the fuck' moments with yall.