Lately, I've been hearing a song on the radio by a new R&B artist called Ledisi (pronounced LED-a-see). (Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ledisi to find out more about her.) When I listened to the song she has out now called "Alright," the words really spoke to me. They are thought-provoking, real, and so very true! Sometimes in life, when things are not going the way we want them to, we just need to just remind ourselves that it's gonna be alright. I hope yall enjoy it as much as I did. (And I also posted the lyrics at the bottom.)
This life can make me so confused but it's alright
Living day by day I feel so used that ain't right
I just wanna run and hide
I don't have the time to cry it's alright (it's alright)
Alright
Many thoughts are running through my head, it's alright
Wishing to be somewhere else but here, it's alright
I can't wait to see your face
I need a smile and your embrace, and I'm alright
Alright
Chorus:
Life can bring us through many changes, it's alright
Just don't give up
Know that it's gonna be alright
People come and they go
That's just the way that it goes
Everything is everything
It's alright
Sometimes the rain it makes me sad and it's alright
Some things in the world make me mad and it's alright
In the morning when I see the sun I know I'm not the only one
It's alright
Alright
Wish I had some money to pay my bills
I can't even buy that dress on sale but it's alright
Having money don't mean a thing
Loving you is everything
I'm alright
Chorus:
Life can bring us through many changes, it's alright
Just don't give up
Know that it's gonna be alright
People come and they go
That's just the way that it goes
Everything is everything
It's alright
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Sunday, December 30, 2007
At the Close of Another Year
As the year 2007 comes to a close, I sit and reflect on my goals and setbacks and achievements and failures over the past 12 months. Of course, some things I am more proud of than others. But as the Bible says (somewhere lol), all things work together for the good. Therefore, I embrace them all and take them as lessons learned to help me grow into a stronger, better, and more confident person. And hopefully, I will learn to not make the same mistakes over and over again. So here are some of the highlights for me for this year:
1. I landed a permanent job after a two-year cycle of unemployment and temp work. When I would hear about people being laid off, I would say to myself, I hope that does not happen to me. But in April, 2005, that became me. And damn what a wake up call that was! There is nothing more frustrating than to not have your skills and expertise being utilized in the workplace or worse, not being paid enough for your skills and expertise. After temping at Merrill Lynch for low wages for about 10 months, I was informed that my department was being relocated to Jacksonville, FL. Because I was a temp (and not an official employee of the company), I did not qualify. I was guaranteed to lose my job. But thank God a former coworker of mine put in a good word for me at this banking company that he had moved to. One of his coworkers was just fired at the time, and they were looking for a good replacement. After 3 (yes 3) interviews, I was offered the position in March making my best salary since graduating from college. To all you out there looking for a new job, don't give up and utilize your networking skills to the fullest. Yes it's gonna be hard, and there are times you will be frustrated, discouraged or even depressed. But keep pressing on and tell everyone you're looking for a job. You never know who's gonna remember your name when the right time and opportunity comes. In due time it will happen, believe me!
2. I still have not moved out on my own. I told myself that 2007 was the year that I would strike out on my own. Sadly, that was not to be. Because I had fallen behind on my bills because of the unemployment and temp work, most of my money went to catching up with that. Even though I'm living somewhat comfortably financially, the money I had left over was not enough to save up for an apartment. It sucks, but I am determined to really do it next year. That will be my top priority for 2008! Hopefully my bonus, raise and IRS checks together will make for a nice down payment on an apartment. The next step obviously would be to find a suitable location. I would like to move a little bit further north so that my commute to and from work would be shortened. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
3. I worked out the medical bill issue my aunt left for me....somewhat. Refer to my posted titled, "It's Nice to Have Family...Right?!" for the full details. I was successfully making payments for about 5 months to the law firm that had sued me. Problem is, I missed the first payment (no money, what else) and now they have sent me another letter asking for a default judgment against me. I'll have to figure out how to resolve this issue on my own this time. My aunt wrote the letters to the firm last time, but I don't want her involved in it this time at all. Shit, I can write the letters myself (even though I'll have to find out how to use all that legal jargon).
4. I have learned to further appreciate my friends more and more. Don't get me wrong, I have always shown (or tried to show) how loyal and loving I am to my friends, and I appreciate them. Cause I truly believe that good friends do not come a dime a dozen. That's why I treasure the ones that I have. But two major occurrences this year made me realize that I have wonderful friends: when two of them decided to take on the responsibility of caring for a 17 year old that otherwise would've lost his way, and the other was when one of my good friends was hospitalized for a heart condition. Each of these instances strengthened our friendship bond (that goes for our entire circle of friends) because it showed how great we can be when we stand together united in our friendship and helping each other get through rough times. The actions that my friends have displayed has taught me that I can be the best man I can be, because I'm surrounded by plenty of them. (After all, a person is very much influenced by his surroundings.) And even though they sometimes annoy the shit outta me and say/do things I don't understand, I really love and proud of my friends (yall know who you are).
5. I made it through another year of being a born-again virgin. What? You thought all of my highlights were gonna be serious? Please! LOL. Yes folks, it may be hard to believe, but this year marks over my 5th year of not being a bottom. (I haven't been a top in a while either, for that matter.) And screw all of you who think that needs to change. It's my body dammit lol.
6. I am still single and enjoying it. As I have stated before (especially to my friends), I really do enjoy being single and don't worry about finding a man. People frequently ask me if/when I am in a relationship, to which I nonchalantly reply, "No." Oh well, such is life, I say to myself. If I want to remain single, that's on me. No shade.
So there you have it, Jersey Brotha's 2007 highlights. I leave you, my fellow Bloggers, with a Happy New Year, and may 2008 be the year that you are abundantly blessed in all areas of your life! I'm looking forward to that myself.
1. I landed a permanent job after a two-year cycle of unemployment and temp work. When I would hear about people being laid off, I would say to myself, I hope that does not happen to me. But in April, 2005, that became me. And damn what a wake up call that was! There is nothing more frustrating than to not have your skills and expertise being utilized in the workplace or worse, not being paid enough for your skills and expertise. After temping at Merrill Lynch for low wages for about 10 months, I was informed that my department was being relocated to Jacksonville, FL. Because I was a temp (and not an official employee of the company), I did not qualify. I was guaranteed to lose my job. But thank God a former coworker of mine put in a good word for me at this banking company that he had moved to. One of his coworkers was just fired at the time, and they were looking for a good replacement. After 3 (yes 3) interviews, I was offered the position in March making my best salary since graduating from college. To all you out there looking for a new job, don't give up and utilize your networking skills to the fullest. Yes it's gonna be hard, and there are times you will be frustrated, discouraged or even depressed. But keep pressing on and tell everyone you're looking for a job. You never know who's gonna remember your name when the right time and opportunity comes. In due time it will happen, believe me!
2. I still have not moved out on my own. I told myself that 2007 was the year that I would strike out on my own. Sadly, that was not to be. Because I had fallen behind on my bills because of the unemployment and temp work, most of my money went to catching up with that. Even though I'm living somewhat comfortably financially, the money I had left over was not enough to save up for an apartment. It sucks, but I am determined to really do it next year. That will be my top priority for 2008! Hopefully my bonus, raise and IRS checks together will make for a nice down payment on an apartment. The next step obviously would be to find a suitable location. I would like to move a little bit further north so that my commute to and from work would be shortened. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
3. I worked out the medical bill issue my aunt left for me....somewhat. Refer to my posted titled, "It's Nice to Have Family...Right?!" for the full details. I was successfully making payments for about 5 months to the law firm that had sued me. Problem is, I missed the first payment (no money, what else) and now they have sent me another letter asking for a default judgment against me. I'll have to figure out how to resolve this issue on my own this time. My aunt wrote the letters to the firm last time, but I don't want her involved in it this time at all. Shit, I can write the letters myself (even though I'll have to find out how to use all that legal jargon).
4. I have learned to further appreciate my friends more and more. Don't get me wrong, I have always shown (or tried to show) how loyal and loving I am to my friends, and I appreciate them. Cause I truly believe that good friends do not come a dime a dozen. That's why I treasure the ones that I have. But two major occurrences this year made me realize that I have wonderful friends: when two of them decided to take on the responsibility of caring for a 17 year old that otherwise would've lost his way, and the other was when one of my good friends was hospitalized for a heart condition. Each of these instances strengthened our friendship bond (that goes for our entire circle of friends) because it showed how great we can be when we stand together united in our friendship and helping each other get through rough times. The actions that my friends have displayed has taught me that I can be the best man I can be, because I'm surrounded by plenty of them. (After all, a person is very much influenced by his surroundings.) And even though they sometimes annoy the shit outta me and say/do things I don't understand, I really love and proud of my friends (yall know who you are).
5. I made it through another year of being a born-again virgin. What? You thought all of my highlights were gonna be serious? Please! LOL. Yes folks, it may be hard to believe, but this year marks over my 5th year of not being a bottom. (I haven't been a top in a while either, for that matter.) And screw all of you who think that needs to change. It's my body dammit lol.
6. I am still single and enjoying it. As I have stated before (especially to my friends), I really do enjoy being single and don't worry about finding a man. People frequently ask me if/when I am in a relationship, to which I nonchalantly reply, "No." Oh well, such is life, I say to myself. If I want to remain single, that's on me. No shade.
So there you have it, Jersey Brotha's 2007 highlights. I leave you, my fellow Bloggers, with a Happy New Year, and may 2008 be the year that you are abundantly blessed in all areas of your life! I'm looking forward to that myself.
Monday, November 26, 2007
A Family Member at Work! (Conclusion)
This is the conclusion to my previous blog with the same title....
Well folks, my curiosity finally got the best of me about my work "family member." Today, as I celebrated my 2nd day of vacation, I casually exchanged e-mails with him (hell, I was bored and wanted to talk to him). Thankfully, he was willing to return the e-mails. So then he asks me to help him set up his 401K account, which warranted a phone call. As I was helping him set up his account, I heard him laugh. I asked, "What are you laughing at?" His reply: "At my manager." So I said, "Oh, so are you and your manager having a kee kee moment?" His reply: "Down!" (emphasis on the word of course) After this (and many other) discussions, my intuitions were damn near eating me alive, and I had to know for myself what was up with this dude. I slowly started to drop hints at him. This was our e-mail exchange:
Me: I have a question to ask you, but I don't know how you're gonna react. It's kinda personal.
Him: Then don't ask lol.
Me: LOL then it's gonna eat away at me. I wanna ask you cause I think you cool as hell, but I also don't want you to think less of me (or vice versa). *Sigh* What's a brotha to do?
Him: Lol nah I hear u, but we r just getting to be cool n I would not wanna mess that up. So just leave it alone lol.
Me: Do I have to leave it alone? LOL But for real, I know we're still gonna be cool. But dammit, my inquisitive side is getting the best of me. I gotta get this weight off my shoulder lol. I don't wanna ask you at work though.
Him: Go just ask.
OK....here goes...I took a deep breath and slowly typed what I had wanted to ask him for months now....
Me: Do you get down?
I hesitated for a few seconds and finally built up the strength to push the "Send" button. As I awaited his response, all kinds of thoughts came to my head:
What if he does? Has he been watching me too? Am I finally gonna have some real fun at work? (LOL) Was my sexual preference now gonna come up at work in the presence of other coworkers?
What would I say/do if he says no? How would he take it? Is he gonna be offended I even asked him that?
Why did I even ask him in the first place? Why did I let my curiosity take over me like that?
I'm sure many more thoughts came to my head, but I didn't have time to think of more, cause the reply finally came back. Ohhhhhhhhhh boy! The moment of truth!
Him: How did I know that's what u wanted to ask? Well sir, no I don't. But a good friend of mine does. N that's where I get some of the "how u doin" stuff from. Cuz I think its funny. N when u hang out with someone u usually pick up their outragous behavior, as in my case. But u do?? I am asking. Wouldn't make a difference to me.
Shit, he was being honest with me. The cat's almost all outta the bag, so I figured that this was the perfect time for me to tell him...
Me: Yup, I do. Damn...you're the first person that knows (outside of my friends that also get down). My own family doesn't even know, cause you know how we as black people can be!
Him: Nah. I kinda knew u did. That's y I kee-d with u about shit. I wanted ask. But I was like nah just leave it. But hell yeah we still cool. I respect u for who u r, and u have shown me who u are. So it doesn't matter what u do privately. But u kept saying "my boys my boys" about your people n I was like he definitely gets down lol.
O my! Let me find out he had his gaydar on the whole time lol. Apparently, I've been outting myself slowly around him. Oh well. But damn am I glad he took the news the way he did! I feel like a weight is lifted from my shoulders. I have NEVER told a coworker that I get down. Hell, my family doesn't even know! Now I feel like I can talk to him about anything, and I won't feel ashamed or judged (as black folk can do). Even though he doesn't proclaim to be a true family member, I can confide in him and make him an honorary member. Yaaaaaaaaay I didn't lose my kee kee partner! But shit! Now all my fantasies about him will remain just that...fantasies. Oh well....can't win em all lol.
Well folks, my curiosity finally got the best of me about my work "family member." Today, as I celebrated my 2nd day of vacation, I casually exchanged e-mails with him (hell, I was bored and wanted to talk to him). Thankfully, he was willing to return the e-mails. So then he asks me to help him set up his 401K account, which warranted a phone call. As I was helping him set up his account, I heard him laugh. I asked, "What are you laughing at?" His reply: "At my manager." So I said, "Oh, so are you and your manager having a kee kee moment?" His reply: "Down!" (emphasis on the word of course) After this (and many other) discussions, my intuitions were damn near eating me alive, and I had to know for myself what was up with this dude. I slowly started to drop hints at him. This was our e-mail exchange:
Me: I have a question to ask you, but I don't know how you're gonna react. It's kinda personal.
Him: Then don't ask lol.
Me: LOL then it's gonna eat away at me. I wanna ask you cause I think you cool as hell, but I also don't want you to think less of me (or vice versa). *Sigh* What's a brotha to do?
Him: Lol nah I hear u, but we r just getting to be cool n I would not wanna mess that up. So just leave it alone lol.
Me: Do I have to leave it alone? LOL But for real, I know we're still gonna be cool. But dammit, my inquisitive side is getting the best of me. I gotta get this weight off my shoulder lol. I don't wanna ask you at work though.
Him: Go just ask.
OK....here goes...I took a deep breath and slowly typed what I had wanted to ask him for months now....
Me: Do you get down?
I hesitated for a few seconds and finally built up the strength to push the "Send" button. As I awaited his response, all kinds of thoughts came to my head:
What if he does? Has he been watching me too? Am I finally gonna have some real fun at work? (LOL) Was my sexual preference now gonna come up at work in the presence of other coworkers?
What would I say/do if he says no? How would he take it? Is he gonna be offended I even asked him that?
Why did I even ask him in the first place? Why did I let my curiosity take over me like that?
I'm sure many more thoughts came to my head, but I didn't have time to think of more, cause the reply finally came back. Ohhhhhhhhhh boy! The moment of truth!
Him: How did I know that's what u wanted to ask? Well sir, no I don't. But a good friend of mine does. N that's where I get some of the "how u doin" stuff from. Cuz I think its funny. N when u hang out with someone u usually pick up their outragous behavior, as in my case. But u do?? I am asking. Wouldn't make a difference to me.
Shit, he was being honest with me. The cat's almost all outta the bag, so I figured that this was the perfect time for me to tell him...
Me: Yup, I do. Damn...you're the first person that knows (outside of my friends that also get down). My own family doesn't even know, cause you know how we as black people can be!
Him: Nah. I kinda knew u did. That's y I kee-d with u about shit. I wanted ask. But I was like nah just leave it. But hell yeah we still cool. I respect u for who u r, and u have shown me who u are. So it doesn't matter what u do privately. But u kept saying "my boys my boys" about your people n I was like he definitely gets down lol.
O my! Let me find out he had his gaydar on the whole time lol. Apparently, I've been outting myself slowly around him. Oh well. But damn am I glad he took the news the way he did! I feel like a weight is lifted from my shoulders. I have NEVER told a coworker that I get down. Hell, my family doesn't even know! Now I feel like I can talk to him about anything, and I won't feel ashamed or judged (as black folk can do). Even though he doesn't proclaim to be a true family member, I can confide in him and make him an honorary member. Yaaaaaaaaay I didn't lose my kee kee partner! But shit! Now all my fantasies about him will remain just that...fantasies. Oh well....can't win em all lol.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Yes, I Want This Love
Those that really know me know my feelings about men and relationships. I am reminded of a song by Elton John called "I Want Love." I think it pretty much describes my views, for better or worse. I finally got around to finding the video on YouTube and decided to post it. I don't expect a whole lot of people to relate to it. But just listen to the words more than watching the video. This is my kinda love. If you don't like it, too damn bad LOL.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
It's Nice to Have Family....Right???
The following posting was originally on my Livejournal page back in March. Since I'm a full-fledged Blogger now, I decided to put it on here. I made a few changes, but the bulk of it is still the same. Read on my fellow Bloggers...
I've been living with my aunt since 1993 after my mother's death. It was just the two of us until 1996, when she decided to (finally) get married. Back in 1999 or 2000 (when I was still in college), she came to me and asked if I would put my name down on a finance plan for some dental work that she needed done. Her credit was too bad (and so was her husband's) so, as a good and caring family member, I agreed to do it. Back then, my credit was excellent, so I saw no problem. And she told me that she was gonna keep up with paying the bill so that it wouldn't reflect negatively on my credit report. Hell, she was the one who instilled in me the importance of having good credit, so no worries.
Things were going well at first. The bill came every month, and I would pass it along to her so that it could be paid. For the first year or two I just assumed everything was fine. A few years ago, I noticed something weird that showed up on my credit report, then gradually the bills and phone calls from the collection agency came. I had my first discussion with her about it, and she again promised me that she "would take care of it." Me being naive (or just plain fuckin stupid!) took her at her word and didn't mention much about it again.
Earlier this year, the dreaded letter appeared in the mail....it was a letter from the Somerset County Courthouse, and I now was being sued for the full amount (about $2,700!) I found out that she did not make ONE SINGLE PAYMENT since 2001!! As if I don't have my own damn bills to about, now I gotta worry about this one. I walked my pissed-off ass into her bedroom and showed her the court letter. When I asked her why the hell she didn't take care of it before, she simply replies, "I forgot." You forgot???? You ain't forget to ask me to put my name down for this fuckin bill!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I don't think I ever felt more used and taken advantage of in my whole life. And to add insult to injury, she calls herself being Christian and gave herself the title of "Evangelist." Hmph! All she did was apologize to me, but I was in no mood to hear any apologies. That shit was for the birds a long time ago! All I wanted to see was money being exchanged. This is definitely going to affect my apartment search (since landlords look at credit reports), which is further adding to my frustration. I'm worried I might get stuck living at home even longer, at a time when I'm really tryin to change that. * Big sigh*
UPDATE: I ended up going to court this summer on my own (cause my fuckin aunt told me that she "wouldn't be able to make it") and speaking with the law firm that was suing me. (The law firm paid the bill to the collection agency, and now they were looking to recover that money from me.) With the help of a mediator, I agreed that I would pay them 80% of the total payment (roughly $2,200), which will be broken down into monthly installments of $300. After the bill has been paid in full, a letter will be sent from them to all 3 credit bureaus informing them that this bill has been satisfied. (This is the only thing on my credit report that is seriously delinquent.) What a hard lesson this was for me. I should've gotten something in writing from my aunt agreeing that she was going to pay the bill, cause I didn't have a leg to stand on by the time I got to court. They are not gonna wanna hear shit about how I thought my aunt was taking care of it. My name and social security number is on the bill, so that makes me (and me alone) responsible. Case closed. (Oh, did I mention that she has worked for various law firms for 30 years???). I love my aunt but I am disgusted by what she did. I have made it my top priority to get this bill paid by mid-2008 and not let anything like this happen to me ever again. Nice to have family, right? Right?!
I've been living with my aunt since 1993 after my mother's death. It was just the two of us until 1996, when she decided to (finally) get married. Back in 1999 or 2000 (when I was still in college), she came to me and asked if I would put my name down on a finance plan for some dental work that she needed done. Her credit was too bad (and so was her husband's) so, as a good and caring family member, I agreed to do it. Back then, my credit was excellent, so I saw no problem. And she told me that she was gonna keep up with paying the bill so that it wouldn't reflect negatively on my credit report. Hell, she was the one who instilled in me the importance of having good credit, so no worries.
Things were going well at first. The bill came every month, and I would pass it along to her so that it could be paid. For the first year or two I just assumed everything was fine. A few years ago, I noticed something weird that showed up on my credit report, then gradually the bills and phone calls from the collection agency came. I had my first discussion with her about it, and she again promised me that she "would take care of it." Me being naive (or just plain fuckin stupid!) took her at her word and didn't mention much about it again.
Earlier this year, the dreaded letter appeared in the mail....it was a letter from the Somerset County Courthouse, and I now was being sued for the full amount (about $2,700!) I found out that she did not make ONE SINGLE PAYMENT since 2001!! As if I don't have my own damn bills to about, now I gotta worry about this one. I walked my pissed-off ass into her bedroom and showed her the court letter. When I asked her why the hell she didn't take care of it before, she simply replies, "I forgot." You forgot???? You ain't forget to ask me to put my name down for this fuckin bill!!!!! I couldn't believe it. I don't think I ever felt more used and taken advantage of in my whole life. And to add insult to injury, she calls herself being Christian and gave herself the title of "Evangelist." Hmph! All she did was apologize to me, but I was in no mood to hear any apologies. That shit was for the birds a long time ago! All I wanted to see was money being exchanged. This is definitely going to affect my apartment search (since landlords look at credit reports), which is further adding to my frustration. I'm worried I might get stuck living at home even longer, at a time when I'm really tryin to change that. * Big sigh*
UPDATE: I ended up going to court this summer on my own (cause my fuckin aunt told me that she "wouldn't be able to make it") and speaking with the law firm that was suing me. (The law firm paid the bill to the collection agency, and now they were looking to recover that money from me.) With the help of a mediator, I agreed that I would pay them 80% of the total payment (roughly $2,200), which will be broken down into monthly installments of $300. After the bill has been paid in full, a letter will be sent from them to all 3 credit bureaus informing them that this bill has been satisfied. (This is the only thing on my credit report that is seriously delinquent.) What a hard lesson this was for me. I should've gotten something in writing from my aunt agreeing that she was going to pay the bill, cause I didn't have a leg to stand on by the time I got to court. They are not gonna wanna hear shit about how I thought my aunt was taking care of it. My name and social security number is on the bill, so that makes me (and me alone) responsible. Case closed. (Oh, did I mention that she has worked for various law firms for 30 years???). I love my aunt but I am disgusted by what she did. I have made it my top priority to get this bill paid by mid-2008 and not let anything like this happen to me ever again. Nice to have family, right? Right?!
Monday, October 22, 2007
A Family Member At Work!
I really love my job. It's smaller and privately-owned (which means I get recognized more easily for the work I do), the people are friendly and relatively down-to-earth, and because the company is constantly growing, there is lots of room for growth and opportunity.
Speaking of opportunity, I noticed this little cutie at my job about a week or so after I started working there (which was about 7 months ago). The old wishful thinking started to play in my mind. "Hmmm....I wonder if he gets down or not. He's a little cutie." Of course, nobody at my job knows that I do, but damn, wouldn't it be nice to REALLY confide in somebody at work like that?! He's 22 or 23, just graduated from college, and this place is his first job out of college. Been there over a year now. He's Guyanese (but I believe he's been in the US all his life) and currently lives in the Bronx. He sits on the other side of the floor as me, so we started communicating through e-mail. He's a cool dude, but sometimes he's hard to figure out. Sometimes he can come off as abrasive, but I can deal with that. Hell, that makes me wanna find out about him even more lol. But he also can be a little hard to figure out. But I'm a patient man, so I just learned to sit and wait for any signs.
The first sign came about a month ago. I came over to him to tell him that the CIO witnessed a coworker and I doing our little exercise regimen (push-ups) in some little room where our help desk is. He said when he found out, he "gagged." Red flag #1! Just to make sure I heard right, I said, "You did what??? You gagged?" He said again, "Yup, I gagged." Alriiiiiiight! A door seems to have opened. Let me sit back and wait for the door to slightly open again!
The second sign came earlier this month. When I asked him to buy something from a catalog for a kid's fundraiser, he took one of the catalogs and started to peruse through it. He saw some knife set and said, "I don't need that cause I already have a knife, and it cuts down (emphasis on that last word)." Hmmm....red flag #2! *Sound of the door slowly creaking open a little more*
But folks, today's e-mail exchange took the cake and solidified my belief that is dude is indeed a family member. I was telling him my little story about what happened on Friday....how one of the cleaning ladies threw away the food that was in the fridge (as she was told to do every Friday), and how she disgustingly dug all through the garbage with no problem to try to retrieve it for me (which she successfully did, but I damn sure didn't want it then. Yuk!) Anyway, after I told him what happened, this is what he wrote...."Oh no! I would have raised hell for that. The cards would have been read that day. Shade of all shade would have come out lol." Ladies and gentlemen, we have red flag # 3! *Ding ding ding!* When I read that, I could hardly believe my eyes. No straight man on their drunkest fuckin day would write anything like that. The thought of having family in the workplace sent me into overdrive lol. Now I'm left with a small dilemma.....I wanna ask him soooooo bad if he gets down. But how? And shit, what if my assumptions are wrong and he really doesn't get down? Then I'll be looking very stupid. I need to figure out something cause my interest has been tremendously piqued now.
*Sigh* What's a brotha to do?
Speaking of opportunity, I noticed this little cutie at my job about a week or so after I started working there (which was about 7 months ago). The old wishful thinking started to play in my mind. "Hmmm....I wonder if he gets down or not. He's a little cutie." Of course, nobody at my job knows that I do, but damn, wouldn't it be nice to REALLY confide in somebody at work like that?! He's 22 or 23, just graduated from college, and this place is his first job out of college. Been there over a year now. He's Guyanese (but I believe he's been in the US all his life) and currently lives in the Bronx. He sits on the other side of the floor as me, so we started communicating through e-mail. He's a cool dude, but sometimes he's hard to figure out. Sometimes he can come off as abrasive, but I can deal with that. Hell, that makes me wanna find out about him even more lol. But he also can be a little hard to figure out. But I'm a patient man, so I just learned to sit and wait for any signs.
The first sign came about a month ago. I came over to him to tell him that the CIO witnessed a coworker and I doing our little exercise regimen (push-ups) in some little room where our help desk is. He said when he found out, he "gagged." Red flag #1! Just to make sure I heard right, I said, "You did what??? You gagged?" He said again, "Yup, I gagged." Alriiiiiiight! A door seems to have opened. Let me sit back and wait for the door to slightly open again!
The second sign came earlier this month. When I asked him to buy something from a catalog for a kid's fundraiser, he took one of the catalogs and started to peruse through it. He saw some knife set and said, "I don't need that cause I already have a knife, and it cuts down (emphasis on that last word)." Hmmm....red flag #2! *Sound of the door slowly creaking open a little more*
But folks, today's e-mail exchange took the cake and solidified my belief that is dude is indeed a family member. I was telling him my little story about what happened on Friday....how one of the cleaning ladies threw away the food that was in the fridge (as she was told to do every Friday), and how she disgustingly dug all through the garbage with no problem to try to retrieve it for me (which she successfully did, but I damn sure didn't want it then. Yuk!) Anyway, after I told him what happened, this is what he wrote...."Oh no! I would have raised hell for that. The cards would have been read that day. Shade of all shade would have come out lol." Ladies and gentlemen, we have red flag # 3! *Ding ding ding!* When I read that, I could hardly believe my eyes. No straight man on their drunkest fuckin day would write anything like that. The thought of having family in the workplace sent me into overdrive lol. Now I'm left with a small dilemma.....I wanna ask him soooooo bad if he gets down. But how? And shit, what if my assumptions are wrong and he really doesn't get down? Then I'll be looking very stupid. I need to figure out something cause my interest has been tremendously piqued now.
*Sigh* What's a brotha to do?
Monday, October 15, 2007
Where Are They? Are We Here Already?
I was watching the news last night, and a segment came on about how Rev. Jesse Jackson was in Newark to lend his support/suggestions on how to curb the murder-rate problem that's plaguing the city. It seems like whenever you turn on the TV and there's some uproar about a problem facing our community, you either see Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton.
Then the thought came to me....why don't we see any prominent black leaders within the black gay community? We have no problems discussing other subjects concerning our people. Is this subject still taboo on a global level? Cause God knows I do not want to see Terry McMillan representing us on another program discussing her hatred/bitterness about gays just because one (count em, one) deceived her! I think the leaders are within ourselves. Hell, who can better represent each one of us than us ourselves?
What does everyone else think?
Then the thought came to me....why don't we see any prominent black leaders within the black gay community? We have no problems discussing other subjects concerning our people. Is this subject still taboo on a global level? Cause God knows I do not want to see Terry McMillan representing us on another program discussing her hatred/bitterness about gays just because one (count em, one) deceived her! I think the leaders are within ourselves. Hell, who can better represent each one of us than us ourselves?
What does everyone else think?
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