Toronto, Here I Come!

Starting tomorrow (and continuing to Monday, Aug. 3) I will be traveling to Toronto, Ontario, Canada for vacation. I will be partying with the Caribbeans for a festival that's given every year there called Caribana, in addition to visiting my friend who also lives there. So I'll be killing two birds with one stone. I'm excited because 1) I've been to Canada before (Vancouver) and was looking for the opportunity to go back and 2) this is the first vacation I've taken outside the U.S. in four years. So this was a long time coming for me.

Catch yall later. And I promise not to act up too bad. You know them Caribbeans don't be messin around lol.

Family and Family Reunions

Yesterday, for only the second time in my life, I went to my family reunion. The first one I went to was about 4 years ago and had a lot more people. This one was significantly smaller. Many people opted not to go period, and others who said they were coming didn't show up. Honestly, I was not planning on going myself. I only found out about it the week before, and they were asking for $55 from everybody. I thought to myself, $55 for what??? I don't really feel like being around my family this time. And it's not even a damn pay week. I'll pass. But my cousin (who was coordinating the event) wanted me to come and represent for those in my family with my last name. So after talking with her on the phone for about 10-15 minutes, I gave her my word that I would attend.

The reunion was held at some small park in central NJ. It (supposedly) started at 10AM, and I got there around 1:30PM. No sense being there real early; it is a black event after all lol. And I was right. When I pulled up to the park, there was barely anybody there (I would say about 10 people). This was gonna be a pretty boring ass family reunion. After I greeted the few people that were already there, I sat down and ate and engaged in small conversation. Gradually, people started coming in. And I have to admit, I had more fun than I thought I would. We played a few games, ate some bangin ass food, and just plain had a good time in each other's company.

As we all gathered to leave, the coordinator had some words to say, and the words resonated. She first mentioned how there were "a good 30 people" who told her they would be there but didn't. She went on about how people go where they wanna go and what do what they wanna do, but what do they do for family? She also mentioned how she herself didn't know many of her relatives, even though they lived not too far from her. But the underlying theme was that we may not know each other and do things together like we should, but nothing will ever change the fact that we are and will always be family, and how we need to reach out to each other. Hell, family is the only major stability in life. There's nothing you can do about that. Believe me, I pride myself on the many wonderful friends both old and new in my life. But I'm equally more grateful on the family I have. Nothing like a good ole family reunion to remind a brotha of that.

By the way, the coordinator made no mention of the $55. She didn't press the issue because 1. other people didn't pay either and 2. she understood how the economy was making it hard for some people. Whew...dodged that bullet lmao.

Volunteer Work

As I stated in my posted entitled "Who? Me?!," my sexy coworker is a very motivated individual. Aside from his overall sexiness, that's one of the main reasons why I am drawn to him as a person. And he did not disappoint me with his motivation...

For the past few months, he has been telling me about how he plans to leave Corporate America and, along with his older brother, start a non-profit organization to increase health awareness in children in New York City, starting in Harlem. Yesterday, his plans came to fruition. Yesterday morning was their inaugural day, if you wanna call it that. They decided to hold a day of games and activities for some kids in Harlem at a school there, and I was one of the volunteers. Even though I absolutely despise waking up early (especially on a Saturday), I can honestly say that I enjoyed myself, and the event turned out to be quite successful. There were other organizations there too, but they all work together with the Children's Aid Society, which has been around for over a century. It was pretty hot yesterday, and for the most part I was just standing around not doing much. But seeing the kids play, laugh and just plain enjoy themselves did give me some satisfaction. And seeing my coworker explain to people the nature of his new organization with passion made me proud that I have gotten to know him and how I need to be around him. In this economy, there is no job security, so you have GOT to have a backup plan! So now I'm just praying and asking God to direct me to my God-given talent.

When the event was over for the day, he sent a text thanking me for my support, and how it meant a lot to him as he tried to keep the momentum of the company flowing. I replied saying it was my pleasure, and congratulated him on doing big things, and how a positive inspiration he was. Think about it...how many people do you know have big plans about their life or career and actually follow through with what they say? Sadly, not many.

I encourage all of you to volunteer somehow, somewhere. It's the best thing you can do as a human being.

My Addiction

It all started with my father.

When I was a child (around 7), my parents would sometimes let me sleep on the living room couch. Frankly, I didn't mind because I thought it was a lot more comfortable than my bunk bed, which was hard and uncomfortable. When I was there, I would often become awakened by an odd sound...the sound of a high-pitched female. As I opened my eyes to try to figure out where the sound was coming from, my view was blocked by my father sitting directly in front of the TV, with his back to me. It was then that I figured out that the high-pitched female was coming from the TV. She was moaning and making oooohs and ahhhhs sounds repeatedly. Why is she making that sound? I wanna see, I said to myself. Judging by the sound, whatever was going on sure made her feel good. And my father sat in front of the TV for quite a long time to view what was making her feel good. This continued for a few years, and each time, my curiousity became more and more piqued.

Fast forward a few years.

One day, when my parents were out of town, my oldest brother invited his friend and 2 females to come over. He forced my middle brother and I to go to the bedroom while they stayed in the living room. Being the curious little boy that I was, I crept up to the doorway of the living room to hear what was going on. To my amazement, I heard the same high-pitched female sound that I heard when I saw my father in front of the TV. Where they watching the same thing? After a while, I figured out that what my brother was watching had to have been something bad. Why would he not let my brother and I watch it too? So I told him I was gonna tell my parents what my brother had been watching. That was all my brother needed to hear, because he begged me not to tell them, grabbed me, and forced me to sit in front of the TV to see the source of the high-pitched woman. I was fascinated yet confused:

- Why don't they have clothes on?
- What is that hairy thing between her legs?
- Why is he pushing his pee pee into her like that?
- What is that white stuff coming out of his pee pee hole?

I definitely had no plans of telling my parents after that. But I still needed more....more explanation, more sight, more sound, more, more, more!

By the time I was a teenager, my curiosity reached the max. (I wasn't having sex like most teenage boys, so I reached my curiosity max a lot faster lol.) I found out that my brothers had some porno videos hidden away in either our clothes closet or the bottom drawer. When noone was around, I would take the videos out, put them in the VCR (I'm so glad I had a VCR in my room lol), and watched the movies in sheer amazement and joy. I saw white people, black people, and sometimes both enjoying themselves together, moaning and screaming in glee. Suckin dick and titties, eatin pussy, gettin fucked in the pussy and ass, squirting liquids all over their bodies. They were doin it at every location...couches, beds, tables, desks, on a boat, on the floor. Is that what this is all about? I could get used to watching this. Hell, I didn't even masturbate; I was too amazed by their own euphoria to worry about myself.

Now, anybody that knows me knows (or has heard) that I collect porn clips/movies to distribute. I sometimes buy them online, but most times I get them for free from multiple yahoo groups that post them (damn, just revealed my secret lol). Some of them take a long time to download, but I'm a very patient man for FREE porn! I sometimes like the straight ones (mmmmmm Brian Pumper), but they don't get me like the good ole gay ones (I love it every time Shorty J gets fucked). My friends and friends of my friends ask me if I have this so and so movie with so and so. Many times, they will just say that they need any clip/movie and leave it up to me to decide what I want to give them. I feel like a gay Blockbuster. Shit, I have 25 CDs/DVSs of porn, and that's not even counting the many more stored on my laptop. Oh well, it is what it is. But I say all this to say, without shame (or rehab)...

My name is Greg, and I am a porn addict.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today I gain another year (a total of 31.) And don't even ask me if I feel old. I'm not older; I'm better! LOL And I must be doing something right, because when I went to dinner, the waitress asked to see my ID when I ordered an alcoholic drink. Thank God for good genes lol. I enjoyed my entire birthday weekend. Happy Birthday to me!

Oh yeah, and 2 of my female coworkers gave me a bouquet of flowers. First time I've ever gotten flowers in my life. Now I don't know how to take care of the damn things lol.

The Competence of Being Incompetent

For the most part, I can honestly say that I like my job. The company has a very down-to-earth atmosphere (possibly because it's privately-owned), most of the people are very charming and easy to talk to (including the best COO I've ever come in contact with), I'm always learning new things, and there is plenty of room for growth and opportunity.

But like every job, there are some things that I don't like. And for me, my main issue is my supervisor. Granted, she's a nice woman, but for the life of me, I cannot ascertain why/how she became a supervisor. Shit, just being nice ain't gonna cut it in Corporate America! At her previous place of employment (which she reminds me of at least once a month), she wasn't even remotely any type of supervisory role. She was a plain old worker. In my 2 years of being under her "leadership" (for lack of a better word), I have watched her crash and burn from instances ranging from telephone conferences to meetings. She can't even type a simple e-mail without asking me how the grammar and spelling are (OK, chalk that up to her being originally from India, but that's a mute point. She's been in the U.S. over 10 damn years now; no sympathy here lol). But in even greater instances, our department manager (her direct boss) frequently has to tell or remind her of things she needs to be taking care of as a supervisor, since his hands are tied with so many other things. Sometimes I just sit and laugh to myself about my manager chewing out my supervisor about what she did or more frequently, didn't do. I swear, it's pure comedy most times lol. My supervisor seriously lacks effective leadership, technical, and interpersonal skills. And she's reactive rather than proactive. A few times, I've had to take it upon myself to present and handle things myself rather than wait on her to make a decision, and it's paid off. (And it also boosts up my employee goals/accomplishments for the year.)

So today as I perused CNN.com like I do most days, I came across an interesting link to the Time Web site entitled "Competence: Is Your Boss Faking It?" Click here if you wish to read the article in its entirety. I think this article was pretty much reading everyone's mind who has ever had to report to a boss. How many times have we said to ourselves (or another coworker, friend, etc.) that our boss can't possibly be as incompetent as they are? How much bullshit did they talk to land them on top of the heap? Hell, do they even know or remember the bullshit they talked to land them on top of the heap?

A few years ago, I read a book called "Work Would Be Great If It Weren't for the People." But in this case, wouldn't work be great if it weren't for (incompetent) bosses? Can Congress include that in the stimulus package? LOL

My 3-Day MLK Weekend

This past weekend, I told myself that I was gonna have fun (since I didn't have to work on Monday), yet stay warm (cause God knows it's cold as shit now!). I accomplished the first, but not quite the second one. You can't win em all you know lol.

Friday night one of my friends had a little get-together at his house to celebrate his 26th birthday. It was good seeing him, cause I haven't seen him in months. And I'm proud of him because he used to weigh over 200 lbs. Now he looks at least 40 lbs slimmer. He's actually looking kinda sexy now lol. It was also good to see his brother, who I am also friends with. Haven't seen him a while either, but he is still keeping himself together physically too. I also saw a few others there that I'm cool with. Everybody seemed to be having a good time. Liquor was flowin (rum, vodka and gin) and I think people were in there smoking just about everything (but I don't smoke). A spades game was briefly played, but I don't think anybody could really concentrate cause they were either drunk or high lol. Then the music kicked in. I tell you, if I see one more homo dance to Single Ladies I'ma fight em lol. But I must admit, you can't sit still when that song comes on. But I didn't start movin til the House Music came on. Now that's my shit! By the time 2:00 came, people were startin to be out, so I left soon after (there wasn't much goin on after you left, Jay). My weekend was startin off pretty well.

Saturday my sexy coworker, myself and whoever else he decided to bring with him planned on going to the movies to see The Wrestler, with Mickey Rourke. (We like to see movies together, sue us lol.) But plans changed...when he called me that evening, he told me that "the consensus" decided they wanted to see Notorious, the movie based on the life of rapper The Notorious B.I.G. I was indifferent about the movie; it wasn't my first choice on the movie to see, but I didn't care that we were going to go see it. We decided to go see it at this movie theater in Manhattan (in Union Square), and ordered the tickets online at Fandango.com. We knew the ticket lines would most likely be ridiculously long, and when I got to the theater, I was right! It was jam packed with people. Even the lines for the Fandango kiosks were long as hell. Here we go, I said to myself. I was the first one to get there, so my coworker told me to save 4 seats. "I'll try," I said. I knew the line would be long, but I was not prepared for what I saw: the line outside the theater was literally down the ramp and up against the wall. I have NEVER seen a line so long for a movie. (Of course the thugs came out to suppport, but there were surprisingly quite a few white people there as well.) And I was allllllllll the way in back of the line. I couldn't believe it. This is a classic reason why I hate seeing movies opening weekend. But alas, a silver lining....one of the movie ushers told the crowd that they were seating people in the balcony section as well, because it was a "sold-out show." I really wasn't expecting to find a seat, but I took my chances anyway. Good thing I did, cause there were actually seats available for our party of five. I had to be ingenious and put my coat on two of the coats, and my scarf on the other two. And believe me, people were eyein them seats. Hell, I practically had to beat em off lol. About 15 minutes later, my coworker finally arrives with some female family friend (that he already fucked, natch lol). He told me that the other two (his sister and brother-in-law) were still on their way. About the movie....uhhhh...I thought it was good for what it was. I wasn't expecting it to be some grand, award-winning movie. It pretty much told us what most of us in the NYC area already knew about the man: he grew up in a single parent household, sold crack, how he met Diddy & 2Pac, his rise in the hip hop game, his meeting Lil Kim and Faith Evans, the whole East Coast-West Coast rivalry, and his untimely death. The dude who played Biggie was pretty good. And of course Angela Bassett always does her thing. I can see why Lil Kim was mad, cause she was portrayed like a straight-up jumpoff. Oh well, if the shoe fits... lol. The girl that played her was OK. Derek Luke (dude from the Antwone Fisher movie) played Diddy. Didn't like his performance all that much. I didn't like the 2Pac character that much either. (The dude from the Spike Lee movie She Hate Me.) If I was Roger Ebert, I would give it a marginal thumbs up. (We still plan on going to see The Wrestler though.)

Sunday morning at 8:30, I was awakened by the ringing of my telephone. Anybody that really knows me knows that I am not a morning person. You're lucky to get me on the phone at 10:00 on weekends, seriously. And I also hate being awakened from my sleep, because I don't fall back asleep easily (or sometimes not at all). After about a half hour, I struggled with myself to get out of bed to find out who interrupted my sleeping time. It was...ta dah!...my sexy coworker lol. He sent me a message saying that he's going snow boarding and invited me to come along. (He went snowboarding about a month or so before, and he loved it and couldn't wait to go again.) We had discussed this yesterday, and I could've sworn he told me he wasn't going. That bastard lol. But one thing about my coworker is that he's very adventurous and doesn't mind trying new things. (Hmmm...I bet the same applies in the bedroom too lmao.) It was just one more thing for me to say I did in my life, so I kinda jumped at the opportunity. My black, homo ass was going snowboarding! So I got myself ready and headed up to Vernon, NJ (about 1 1/2 hours from me). I got there around noon and it was crowded as hell with both snowboarders and skiers. Guess everybody had the same idea. There were also quite a few black people up there. Go head us...tryin to take over skiing and snowboarding too lol. I met up with my coworker and 4 other dudes. One dude was a newbie, just like me, another was there for about the third time, and the other was pretty much a pro. He was showing me and the other newbie dude the basics like how to position our feet, how to control our speed, how to stop, and how to steer. It's definitely harder than it looks, and I took a whole lot of falls. We practiced for a while on a little hill, then worked our way to two more hills. *I have to stop here to tell you that the other newbie dude was a Latino from Queens, but he had such a nice ass! I caught a glimpse of it when he was removing his shirts to wipe off the snow. I saw it through his windbreaker pants. You don't know how much energy it took for me to control myself lol. Turns out he's a personal trainer. If personal training gives you that, shit, sign me up!* Back to the story...the second and third hills were not kind to me at all. I can't even count how many falls I took...on my back, my stomach, my knees, my ass, my hands. It was quite a challenge. I was so damn exhausted and cold after I while I just said fuck it and walked down the hill. I went to the cafeteria and got myself some hot chocolate. But nonetheless, I enjoyed myself. I left around 8:30.

And today I was supposed to go to Dave & Buster's with a few others, but I was in so much pain in my body I didn't feel like goin out. Even as I write this, my elbow, legs, knees and ass are still hurting lol. Sucks to be non-athletic. Oh well. I'll be OK after a while.

So that sums up my weekend. Hope yall enjoyed yours.

Happy New Year!

Have a safe and Happy New Year everyone! May the new year bring you (and me) all the blessings and good favor that you need and deserve!

What a (Thankful) Thanksgiving!

My original plans for Thanksgiving were to either spend it with my brother, nieces and nephew in PA, or just go to my aunt and uncle's house in central Jersey (where I used to live with them). I had planned it that way for about a good week or so. But early last week, my sexy coworker (read all about him in my blog entitled "Who? Me?!") asked me what I was doing, and extended an invitation for me to join him and his family for a Thanksgiving dinner at his sister's house in the Bronx, NY. I thought to myself, Hmmm...well it would give me a great opportunity to see his sexy ass again, and his family always welcomes me whenever they see me, but do I really feel like driving to the Bronx? I'll have to think about that one.

After going back and forth with myself for the next few days leading up to the holiday, I decided to nix the PA visit (didn't feel like driving the long distance). I called my aunt to see who else was coming to the house, and she mentioned her son (who I have no problem with, but really didn't feel like talking to him all day long with), and her grandchildren. Nope, not enough people, I said to myself. So I decided I was gonna go to my aunt and uncle's house, then make my way to the Bronx afterwards. On Thanksgiving Day, I text my coworker around 1PM and told him that I was on my way to the aunt and uncle's house, and that I was only gonna be there for a few hours, to which he replied, "OK." I finally arrived at the house and greeted all that were present: my aunt, uncle, cousin, and his kids (her grandkids - one 16-year-old boy and one 18-year-old girl). But then I saw two others I didn't recognize. Turns out they were two friends of the 18-year-old, so I cordially shook both of their hands. One of them was around 10, and the other was around my female cousin's age, with baggy jeans, baggy shirt, and two pigtails. Looked like a damn hoodlum to me lol. The hoodlum was a friend that went to college with my cousin, and the 10-year-old was the hoodlum's cousin. After some small talk, it was finally time to do what the hell we were there for...to eat! It was at the table that I came to realize that the "hoodlum" was a girl. She looked just like a dude to me lol. And she didn't even have a female's name. And I observed the interaction between her and my cousin, and then I saw it......my cousin had a tattoo of a guitar with the rainbow colors in the middle! Wooooooooow....my cousin is a lesbian, and this is her girlfriend! LOL I chuckled to myself at that, even though nobody mentioned it (it wasn't the time anyway). But I'm very curious to know what her parents and my aunt had to say about that, being that they're all Pentecostal ministers (you know how they, and most Christians, feel about homosexuality). After we finished eating, I went to help my uncle with some iPod issue, and my cousin and girlfriend went into the living room to watch TV, with my cousin leaning all over her girlfriend. Yup, she's definitely gay lol. This is an interesting Thanksgiving, but it was gonna get even more interesting...

I was pretty much over all of them by 5PM, so I made my grand exit. Coincidentally enough, my sexy coworker text me telling me to let him know when I was on my way, and I happily obliged. I called him when I was about 10-15 minutes away, and he tells me that he'll leave the door open because he's about to take a shower. O-M-G...let me hurry my ass up to see him! I was cursin every car in front of me and every damn traffic light lol. When I stepped inside, he had just gotten out of the shower, and he was standing upstairs with nothing on but a towel! *Fanning myself* It took everything within me not to run upstairs and rip off the towel. Talk about torture! I calmed myself down after he came downstairs fully clothed. That flirtatious bastard lol.

So we made our way to his sister's house about 20 minutes away. We stepped inside and most of his family members were already there. Most of them I didn't know though, but I greeted everyone with handshakes for the men and kisses on the cheeks for the women. I especially was greeted by his mother (who adores me), his father, and his female cousin. After some small talk with a few of his family members, it was time for me to eat for the second time. But at this dinner, they had some nice red wine, and my coworker's brother-in-law made some bangin ass jello shots filled with Bacardi and Parrot Bay. Compliments to him! LOL After the food and drinks had subsided, my coworker proceeds to look in is iPhone for movies that are playing that night (he's always looking for a movie to see).

Me: What movie are you looking to see?
Sexy Coworker: I'm looking to see that movie Milk with Sean Penn. (Milk is the story about 70s gay rights activist Harvey Milk, the first gay man ever elected to a public office. If you are not familiar with him or his story, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvey_milk).
Me: Who are you going to see it with?
SC: I'll go by myself.
Me: I'll go with you. (I didn't have to work the next day, and this was a good way to chill with him one-on-one.)
SC: Aight cool. (Jokingly) You think it'll look right for us to be seeing this kind of movie together?
Me: (Jokingly) Just don't sit next to me.

Not too long after, we left his sister's house, dropped off his cousin, and made our way into Manhattan to the movie. We talked about a few things on the way there (including how I felt about gay marraiges), but nothing at all about the movie. We finally get to the theatre, and it was packed. (It was playing at a small, local theater, so it was very easy for the theater to get packed.) So guess what? We had to sit right next to each other. Oh well lol. And the movie was excellent! Sean Penn really did a good job playing Harvey Milk. There were a lot of things I connected with and related to in the movie. In fact, there was one scene where Milk is giving a speech and he shouts, "Come out to your coworkers! Come out to your friends!" Ummm....is he talking about me? LOL All throughout the movie, revealing my "secret" to my coworker was nagging at me. When we left the theater and got back into his car, we talked about how great the movie was. I asked him why he chose to see that movie, and he tells me that he's a very open-minded person and how comfortable he is with himself. At this point, I felt like I was gonna burst if I didn't tell him. And since we just got finished seeing a movie about gays and gay rights, now was the perfect time for me to tell him. So here is the big moment:

Me: So (insert name here), let me tell you something...
SC: Yo (meaning, go ahead).
Me: I'm gay.
SC: You?
Me: Yup. I know you already knew, with all those gay jokes you say to me.
SC: Nah, I was actually just playing with you. If I'd have known, I wouldn't have made the jokes at all. But I'm cool with it.
Me: Well that actually didn't bother me at all, cause I know you're a silly ass.

We talked a little while longer about the subject: why did I "choose" this lifestyle, who else at our job knows, who at our job is also gay (he mentioned 2 people, but I didn't know either one of them), who at our job he thought or still thinks is gay, if family knows, have I ever dated/messed with women. I was expecting those types of questions, so I answered everything honestly. I think he's bi-curious, because he told me that he does wonder what it would be like to be with another man, but he keeps reminding himself on how he loves to "blaze women." (I'll work on him on that lol.) I really felt a big relief because gradually it was eating away at me. And hell, it was gonna come out eventually, cause things like that always do. But I was even more relieved that he took the news in stride. It's always a double-edged sword when you drop some news like that on a person. Either they're gonna accept it, move on, and treat you exactly the same as before they found out, or just do a complete 360 and stop being bothered with you. After our discussion, I'm sure it's the former. In fact, when I was getting into my car to go home, he already invited me back to his house for Christmas.

Now only two people at my job know about me. But the question remaining is....is he still gonna bring over a chick for this threesome we're supposed to have? LMAO. I reminded him about that as well, and he said, "Oh yeah, I do have to work on that." But time will tell. Oh well, that's neither here nor there.

What a Thanksgiving huh?

Happy Thanksgiving

Just wanted to wish you all (and your families) a Happy Thanksgiving! May you always be grateful for everything you have in your life...family, friends, your health, a place to live, food to eat, etc. But especially in this rough economy, be thankful you have a job! (I know I am.) God bless you all!

A Tribute to Our President-Elect

Here are some newspaper covers and reactions from people all over the world regarding President-Elect Obama. It's quite an amazing feat that one person can have so much of an impact on the world!



















From France:



From the Philippines:


From Senegal:


From Indonesia:

All Hail the Queen (of Pop)

After nearly 20 years, my dream finally came to fruition this past Friday...I saw one of my favorite performers live in concert: the one and only Janet Damita Jo Jackson! I've bought every album she has made since the Control album. The reason why I like her so much is because I am also the youngest sibling in my family. So I know what it's like to try to blaze your path and step out of the shadows of older siblings to fully establish yourself. And what a path she has blazed for herself! Multi-platinum albums, numerous #1 hits, millions of albums sold worldwide, and the only artist to have 7 top 5 singles from one album (not even Michael has been able to do that). She has paved the way for just about every female artist in the 90s and 00s with her intricate choreography alone (can you really imagine artists like Ciara if there were no Janet?)

When I found out back in May that she was going to be touring again and making a stop at the Izod Center in East Rutherford, NJ, I signed up for the Janet Jackson Fan Club just so I can get the advanced tickets. Yes they were a bit pricey cause I ordered a floor ticket, but hey, this was a golden opportunity. And who knows if she'll be touring any time again in the future? After all, this was her first tour in seven years. I was gonna take advantage of and fully enjoy this opportunity.

She cancelled and postponed a few concerts before the NJ one because of vertigo, so I was a little concerned that this one would follow the same fate. So to say tha I was so excited when I got the Izod Center was an understatement. I couldn't wait to take my seat and see the woman of the hour live and in person. And my friend that I came to the concert with pointed this out as well, but Janet is one of the few artists who can transcend every race, nationality, ages, and sexuality. There were people from ALL backgrounds there, which is a true testament to her superstar status. The concert was supposed to start at 7:30 (with LL Cool J as the opening act), but it actually didn't start til around 8:20, with no LL in sight. And honestly, who needs him? Janet doesn't need an opening act! So I didn't care at all that he wasn't there.

*WARNING...IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE CONCERT AND STILL PLAN ON GOING, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER!*

The lights dimmed, and a booming voice comes over the intercom system. And suddenly, two oversized letter J's move out of the way to reveal the woman we all paid money to see. The crowd went crazy. And she looks the same in person as she does on TV. She was short and petite, yet she had a commanding stage presence. She had her hair in a mohawk, and she was wearing a beige and black catsuit (as shown in the pic above). And she is so beautiful! A few seconds after the spotlight turned on, she went into her first song of the night: "The Pleasure Principle." She then segued into such songs as "Escapade" and "Feedback." I was so happy I got a floor seat, cause when she walked to the front of the stage, I was able to see a nice view of her. I was not happy that I didn't have a digital camera with me. The tickets said "no cameras or recorders," but as soon as she stepped to the front of the stage, the cameras and lights were flashing. I was so over all of them! LOL I had my little cell phone, but that shit did not even compare. Ugh....oh well. The memories will be etched in my mind. As she went through hit after hit, costume change after costume change (including a gorgeous red evening gown she wore during one part), I think I only sat down for a few minutes. (Of course, that also had to do with everybody else standing up in front of me lol.)

Janet then stops to talks, and she says that people have been asking her why she doesn't do certain songs on tour. Hmmm....I wonder what songs she's talking about, I said to myself. "This is for the true diehard fans," she says before going into three songs from her very first two albums (the self-titled one and Dream Street): "Young Love," "Say You Do," and "Don't Stand Another Chance." That was truly a welcome surprise, cause I haven't heard those songs in a looooooooooooong time.

Then came the part that Janet has been known for for a few years...bringing up a male concertgoer to do the really sexual part of the show. This year she decided to choose the song "Discipline," and the lucky dude was a white, pretty cute dude that was sitting in the front row (that bastard lol). The song has an S&M-type of feel, so it was fitting that the female dancers tied him up with leather straps and metal hooks and suspended him horizontally at one point, while Ms. Jackson lied on the floor right beneath him. The dude was then lowered right on top of her, and she showed just how nasty she can be by pressing his head right into her cleavage. Then he was lowered onto the floor, and she got on top of him and simulated the riding position, then a 69 position. Everybody went crazy! And I know that dude will NEVER forget that day!

After a few more songs and costume changes, the unfortunate time came for her to exit stage left. Dressed in all white, she graciously thanks NJ for coming to see the show, and bid us good night. This was around 11:30. We all slowly filed out of the building to get into our cars.

People can say what they want about Janet. No she's not the greatest singer (which is also why I'm glad I bought the floor ticket), and yes her album sales haven't been selling the way they used to. Hell, what artist do you know has a multi-platinum album every single time? None! But there's no denying that you get your money's worth from her concerts. She is one of the best live performers you will ever see. Why the hell it took me so long to see it with my own eyes I will never understand, but oh well. Better late than never. And I'm so glad it wasn't too late. Now I can die in peace lol.

Did McCain Back Himself Up Into a Corner?

McCain is now forced to defend his opponent after one of his own supporters referred to Obama as "an Arab." Boos follow thereafter when McCain further defends Obama. I'm sure this is not where he envisioned himself to be at this point in the election. See the clip below.

The Online Meet/Hookup Genesis

I was a senior in college back in November 2000 and, after much wrangling with myself for years, I made a very big decision in my life: I decided that I was going to enter the homosexual lifestyle full force. I knew I didn't want a relationship, just some dudes to give me a good time, be it friends or otherwise (*wink*). But then another issue arose: how would I go about meeting dudes? I didn't hang around with any gay people, nor did I know of any family members who were, so meeting dudes from family and friends was out of the question. Neither was me approaching a dude off the street (I was much too introverted for that) or in a bar or club (I wasn't going to any back then). My options were getting slim to none. Then one day, one of my coworkers told me about a Web site that he frequented often, mostly while at work. It was a site that had a lots of females of all ages, races, and backgrounds from all parts of the country, and how you can go to their pages to see what they're all about, who they are, what they're looking for, etc. But most of all (and this the part that really piqued my interest), if they really like you, you can meet them face-to-face, and take it from there. The site was called Blackplanet.com. Hmmm, it sounds interesting. I wonder if I can do the same with dudes, I wondered to myself. So a few weeks later, I created a page of my own and started to slowly peruse the site. I couldn't really say I was blown away by everything, but there were some things that I was impressed with. And it didn't take me long to figure out other alternatives on the site: there were gay and bisexual dudes on there too. That was my jackpot moment lol. And for me, it killed multiple birds with one stone: I didn't have to worry about 1) approaching dudes off the street or clubs and 2) having other people find out all my business due to the informality. Hell, I basically controlled who I met and when and where (when that time came of course). Where has this site been all my life?

The next step in the process was...who was going to be the first dude I met off the site? I started doing a search of all the dudes in Newark. I lived there and was going to school there, so convenience was necessary. I read the pages of a few dudes. The ones I really liked I sent them a message (I don't think it could've been anymore than "Wassup" or something like that). A few days later, one dude replied, saying to leave him some contact information so we can talk faster. I left him my phone number, and he called me the next day when I was in my dorm room. He was asking me where I was and if I wanted to meet him. I agreed to go to his house about 15 minutes away to meet up with him. On my way there, I was quite nervous and anxious, cause this was so new to me. I just hoped that everything turned out alright, and he wasn't ugly or a damn weirdo lol. I stepped up to his door and rang the doorbell, and a few seconds later he opens the door and lets me in. To my relief, he wasn't ugly. He wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but he also wasn't a monster either. Whew! One issue down! He was about 6', 180 lbs, dark brown skinned, moustache and goatee. I was content. We sat down on his bed and small-talked for about 30 minutes. Then he asks me the question that most homosexuals have heard over and over again: Are you a top or a bottom? What the fuck is he talking about? What should I say to him? "I'm both," I lied. "Oh, so your're versatile," he replied. I nodded my head. "Well I'm a top," he said. "Oh," I said back, figuring out in my own head that I guess he meant he likes to do the fucking. "I wanna do something with you...now!" he blurts out. "OK," I replied nonchalantly. He moves closer to me, unbuttons my jeans and proceeds to give me head. Watching his head go up and down and the feel of the the suction on my penis, I laid back in enjoyment and determined that I could get used to this homo thing, and it was turning out just the way I liked. I then returned the favor and gave him some head, while he laid back and moaned. He then reached inside the back of my boxers and played with my tight hole with his finger. Can't say that it was a good feeling, but I tolerated it because I assumed it was part of the whole process, and him being a top and all. Next, he lays on my back, lifts my legs up and plays with my hole with his wet, warm tongue. Oh hell yeah I can get used to this! Then kissing and grinding soon followed. But the ecstasy left soon after and the pain began...he sticks his penis into my tight hole and keeps on pressing. I almost felt tears come to my eyes, for it was the most unbearable pain I had ever felt in my life. How the fuck am I gonna get used to this shit??? How do other dudes do this? After many attempts, he only managed to get a little bit past the head of his penis inside me, but it mind as well have been the whole 8.5 inches if you ask me lol. I was just glad he stopped trying after a while. And besides, he said he had to go. We put on our clothes, and I agreed to drive him to whereever he had to go. He shakes my hand, tells me to call him sometime, and gets out my car. So began my genesis of the online meet/greet/hookup.

Cut to a few weeks ago (and many, many online hookups/meetings later lol). I was bored at home after a long day of work and decided to create a page on Facebook.com. My coworkers (both the sexy one and cute one, natch lol) told me a little about it. My curiosity got the best of me, so I wanted to see if it was really worth writing home about. To me, it was just like any other site: age, location, sex, interests, blah blah blah. Then I saw it....Interested in Men or Women? Here we go again. What should I select? I decided to leave that part blank. Why? Because I honestly don't know what the hell I wanna use the site for. Networking? Hookup? Friendship? I would be happy if I never met another dude online again. It was my high for about 8 years, and now, just like weed or any other damn drug, the high was coming down. No longer was I nervous or even excited about online hookups. I've met enough good and bad dudes to last me pretty much the rest of my life. It just got repetitious. And the way I see it, in this lifestyle, fuck six degrees of separation. There's only ONE degree of separation! It's only a matter of time you meet someone that knows/hooked up with someone you know or met. Don't get me wrong, I occasionally slip back into that online hookup (hey, it's a guilty pleasure sometimes lol), but I'm basically done with all the hype of it.

So now I turn the spotlight on you. What was the underlying reason why you decided to create an online page? What was your first experience like? How do you feel about online hookup sites now? Tell me your genesis story.

My Labor Day Weekend

I haven't posted in a little while, so I'll fill in the gap by talking about my past weekend.......

- After work on Friday, all I kept thinking about was going to the liquor store lol. So as soon as I walked back to my car after getting off the train, that's exactly what I did. I owed it to myself; I haven't had a drink on a Friday night in about a month or so. So I sat in my apartment and enjoyed the company of Mr. Bacardi. He entertained me very well lol.

- Saturday morning I was supposed to help volunteer for a kid's picnic, but it was postponed because of all the talk about rain (which explains why I was drinking on Friday night). I absolutely HATE waking up early on Saturdays, so I was so glad that I had yet another Saturday where I can just sleep in.

Later on that evening, I made my way over to BBQs in Manhattan to attend a birthday dinner for a friend. I was told by the b-day boy that everyone should be there by 8:45. He should've known better than to think that black people were gonna be on time somewhere! There were people showing up at 9:30, 10:00. And to make matters worse.....he invited over 20 people! WTF?! There was only one person I knew previously; everybody else was a bunch of new faces. I only talked to a handful of them though. One of them was a dude from VA. He seemed very cool and down to earth, so I had no problem talking to him. We finally got seated around 10:30. I was so over that function by then, but I couldn't just walk out on the birthday boy. And besides, I was enjoying the conversation of VA dude and a few others, so that kinda eased my mind about waiting so fuckin long to get seated.

I finished my food around midnight, and by that time I was VERY ready to go. I also promised my sexy coworker that I would come to his house for a cookout/gathering in the Bronx (more on him later). But VA dude asked me if I would drive him to Harlem to drop him off at his frat brother's house, where he was staying for the weekend. He also informed me that he was having some kinda party there, and I can just have a drink and go. Sounds good to me....get a free drink and bounce. No brainer lol. And his house was pretty much in the same direction as the way I was going to my coworker's house, so I didn't mind. When I stepped in his frat brother's house, all I felt was heat! It was sooooooooo mutha fuckin hot in his house! There were a good amount of people there, but it wasn't packed. Man I couldn't wait to get the hell outta there. So after about a half hour or so, I said goodbye to VA dude, his frat brother and some other people that I briefly met and headed out the door.

I got to my sexy coworker's house well after 1AM, but he was still there talking to his brother and cousin (both of whom I've gotten to know). He sees me and hugs me the manly way (one-armed hug), then he shocks me (in a good way) and throws both of his arms and presses his well-toned body against mine. If only he knew how much my gay ass wanted him, he would not be doing that, I thought to myself. But maaaaaaaaaan, I was so glad he did! LOL I didn't want him to let me go. I think I've established a pretty good bond with him (hell, I would call it a friendship at this point). He invites me to every cookout/gathering that his family has now. His moms and family members all like me and ask about me, wondering if I'm gonna be at the next event. Shit, I guess I'm officially adopted by them now lol. Oh yeah, and I spent the night at his house cause I was a little tipsy from the beers and pretty tired (it was about 4 or 5:00 by this time). And here's the kicker....he laid out a blanket for me to lay on on the floor and laid right next to me. I have never had anybody do that to me before. Was I gonna say anything? You must be out ya damn mind lol. I was gonna enjoy every second of having him next to me like that. Now if only he can lay on top of me....ahhhhh wishful thinking lol. I ended up leaving his house around 9 Sunday morning.

- Sunday was church, and later that day I was convinced by another friend to go to some local bar/lounge not too far away. I met up with 5 other people. It was free to get in (thank God), and I told myself I would only get one drink (a beer or somethin). But I was waiting so long at the bar for one of the two bartenders that the people I met up with were over the place and decided to leave. Not that I minded; I wasn't really feelin the place anyway, so I was glad to be leaving.

Three of us decided to head to lower Manhattan to see what was goin on. We ended up goin to one bar (one more drink) and one club (yet another drink). Both places I didn't really like too much (could've been both the music and the people), but I'm not really one to complain. And besides, I wasn't the driver so if the driver wanted to say, too damn bad for me.

We left that and went to a house party in Harlem (NYC really saw my face all weekend lol). Don't ask me why they were charging people $10 to get in like it's a bona fide club or somethin, and I begrudgingly paid the fee. There I met up with another one of my friends. (And no I didn't buy any more drinks lol.) The music was right (mostly house music and reggae), so I was gonna dance off that $10 I had to pay. I also talked most of the night to a dude that was originally from Philly, but moved to the Bronx. He was very sociable and pretty easy on the eyes. Body was decent too. He had a boyfriend, but that didn't stop him from asking for my number so that we can hang out sometime. I had a pretty nice time, and we practically stayed til it was over (about 4:30). I got home around 6 (while texting the Philly dude most the way home).

- Monday I went to visit my brother over in PA and see my nieces and nephew. It seemed like it took forever to get to his house, but it was about a good hour and a half. I killed two birds with one stone with the visit: I wanted to see them cause I kinda felt guilty about going so long without me seeing them (it's been almost a year), and I had to fix some kinda computer problem they were having. So I was proud of myself for accomplishing both.

And did I forget to mention that my sexy coworker wanted me to come to yet another bbq/gathering at his house, and to bring my work clothes? LOL He really, really likes me. And he told his moms that I was gonna be there. But I knew that I was not gonna be really up to going to his house after I got home. And I did not want to go straight to work from somebody else's house. Shit, my commute would've increased from 20 minutes to well over an hour. That shit was not happenin! LOL But just to save face, I called him when I was on my way home around 7:45 and told him that I had at least an hour ride home before I even began to make my way there. I was so glad when he told me that everybody was packin it in for the night anyway, and to forget comin thru. But a part of me did kinda wanna see him. Damn! I must be infatuated lol. (Today at work, he tells me how much I was missed the day before.)

So that was my fun-filled weekend. Hope you all enjoyed yours.

One Door Closes, Another One (Re)Opens

It has been nearly a month since I have stopped speaking to one of my good friends. Although I sometimes miss talking to him, I do not regret my decision. I actually have been doing just fine since then, cause life does indeed go on. I've been living and enjoying my life without missing a beat. And why wouldn't I be? Life is too short, and it seems as though people are leaving this earth younger and younger. As Martin Lawrence said in Runteldat, ride this life until the wheels fall off!

While I was continuing on with life, an old friend re-appeared. I've known him for a total of about 6 years now. I met him on Blackplanet (remember that? Before Adam4Adam, Blkgaychat, and Men4Now came along? LOL), and he lives in south Jersey (Camden county). Over time, we became very good friends, and I would visit him at least once a month. Yes we messed around a few times (lol), but it was more than that. We clicked right away and shared some of the same interests. I got the chance to meet some of his family, friends, and the dudes that he dated. When you meet people off these damn web sites, you pretty much take a crap shoot on if they're gonna be a true friend, a fuck buddy, a psycho, or just a bonified asshole, and I was so blessed that this person demonstrated himself as a true friend.

But a few years ago (2004 I believe), he reached a revelation....he decided that he was going to give up the gay lifestyle, marry a woman, and live a heterosexual life. He had always claimed he was bisexual, but he started to incorporate religion into his life, and he felt that God was moving him in another direction, which means he was cutting off all of his friends and people who knew him in that lifestyle. As disappointed as I was about that decision, who am I to judge or argue with how God chooses to deal with someone? So I wished him the very best in his life.

Fast forward to last week. He hits me up out of the blue on AIM. He tells me that things didn't quite work out with his wife and that they are separated and living apart. (They were married for about two years.) But above that, he missed talking/hanging out with his good friends. I have long given up on holding grudges against people, so I gladly welcomed him back. Now we talk again a few times a week, and we pretty much slipped right back into our roles just like old times...talking, joking, laughing, etc. In the very near future, I'll be going down to south Jersey to see if his looks changed at all and just to get reacquainted with his presence once more. It honestly doesn't feel like it's been four years since we stopped speaking. It feels so good to reconnect with an old friend. It is with great pleasure that I say to him...Welcome back!

Cutting Ties

The previous posting proved prophetic, because today, after many disagreements, I was left with no other choice but to cut off a person who I considered a good friend for about four years. I will not discuss the exact thing that lead to my decision, but he knows what he said and did. It sucks to realize that the person you think is gonna be a friend for a lifetime turns out to be one only for a season. But hey, it's another lesson learned. I'm better off without him anyway!

In my four years of knowing this person, I was there for him through his highs and lows: the arguments with his mother, the friends and ex-boyfriends who have come and gone, the life-altering news he received back in August, 2005, and many other things. Even though some of the things he went through I couldn't entirely relate to, I was a shoulder to lean on in times when it was necessary. And sometimes, just being there is enough. Along the way, there were a few instances where what he said got under my skin. He can be very kind-hearted when he wants to be, but he also can be cold and vicious when he feels like he is being attacked. I'm a pretty laid-back, subtle person. So it must be a pretty big issue to get me upset. Many times before, I thought about ending our friendship. But I kept being reminded (and reminding myself) that true friends last a lifetime, and you have to accept people for who they are.

But how much are you supposed to accept about a true friend when you are starting to portray anger on the inside, an emotion that is completely out of your character? What kind of friend do you really have where the person no longer values the friendship you have and quickly dismisses your thoughts, feelings, and opinions? What does it say about a person's true character where he speaks his mind to people with no problems, but yet gets very defensive and does not want to hear what you have to say about him when he does something wrong (or worse, feel that what you have to say is always wrong)? I pondered all of these questions to myself before I told said friend that I no longer wanted to be bothered with him anymore. It honestly was just too much work for me to be his friend. Friends are supposed to lift you up and bring out the very best in you, and everything I said to him lately turned into him beating me down. Shit, who needs that??? And frankly, anyone he interacts with is going to have to deal with that. He's intelligent and witty, but God help you if you ever disagree with him!

And after I reached that decision, I felt like a weight was being lifted from my shoulders. I felt my anger going away. I was and am content with it. I refuse to be bitter about this, because it's a wasted form of energy. Hell, I know the person is gonna be sleeping at night regardless. And I also know that all things work together for the good. It's making me into a better man. I wish the person inner peace and happiness. But I will no longer sacrifice my happiness just to call somebody a friend. I must move on now and keep growing as a person.

Reevaluating Friendships

I sent this out through e-mail to my friends and coworkers. Everybody I sent it to loved it, so I thought I'd share this with all of you. Hope it resonates with you just as much as it resonated with me and all the others I sent it to...

There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we're trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn't so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

Who? Me?!

I've already told yall about my cute coworker. But I've never mentioned anything about my SEXY coworker...

He's a 31-year-old dude who was born in Honduras (don't know when he came to the U.S.), about 5'9" or 5'10," slim, dark brown skinned, with a body to kill for! I've seen it with my own eyes....nice chest, abs, arms, back. He hits the gym at least 4 times a week, doing all types of pushups and pullups, lifts and dips in the most ingenious ways (I've seen the Youtube clips.) And, he's pretty good lookin in the face. Whew! I think I need a break to fan myself off! LOL Anyway, every day he comes down to where I'm sitting to mess with me, tell me what chick he's messed with/fucked (he's shown me pics), and just shoot the breeze. Even though he has his hoeing tendencies, he is amazingly focused. In 10 years, the man has earned about 5 or 6 certifications, worked his way up from a help desk tech to an Assistant VP (making at least 80K I'm sure), all while married with two kids (he's separated now). And now he's starting his own clothing line because he does not see himself working in Corporate America much longer. I admire his drive and determination to go out there and work hard to get what he wants to make himself happy. I'm still working on getting even half the drive within myself.

Now that I've given you the background on this dude, let's get into what transpired today...

Around 11am today, he strolls over to my desk. "Well if it isn't my man Greg," he says smiling as he reaches out his hand for me to shake. I'm always happy to see his sexy ass!
"Wassup," I replied shakin his hand back.

Some small talk was exchanged, then the question arose...

Sexy Coworker: "If I asked you to help me hit somethin, would you do it?"

*I rewinded in my mind for a few seconds what he just said. Oh shit! Is he for real?! Is he really askin me to join in on a fuckin threesome with him??? Up popped the angel and devil. The angel side said, no. You're a conservative dude; it's really not your thing. Stay away. And hellooooooo....you like dick! LOL

The devil side said, fuck it. You only live once. Live now! Who knows, you might like it so much you'll want it again. And oh yeah, it's a perfect opportunity to see your coworker's dick, the one that slides into those Magnums. It's a win/win situation.* What's a man to do?

Me: "I would first have to see what she looks like first," I said half-heartedly.
SC: "Let's say it was (name of another female coworker that he's already been fuckin)." Would you do it?
Me: *Shrugging my shoulders* "Aight, why not?" I replied nonchalantly.
SC: "Aight bet, and don't back out on me," he replied and walked away.

When he left, I just laughed to myself. Then my self-consciousness started to speak to me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the opportunities of physical expression in the bedroom like anyone else. But who am I kidding? What the hell does my gay ass know about a chick? I've never been with one sexually. What if I don't even get hard when the time comes? Only one coworker knows that I get down, and I only told him cause I've built up a rapport good enough to a point where I know I can trust him with what I tell him, and it won't circulate around the workplace. But this dude? I don't know. He's cool, but I don't know how he'll take it if he knows about me. The funny thing is, he's made jokes about me being gay. He will SERIOUSLY gag if I ever told him the real deal. And besides, who I sleep with is not for everybody at my job to know about, so I seriously doubt if I will ever tell him.

He didn't tell me when this supposed threesome will happen. Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. But I'm still left laughing and saying to myself, who? Me?!

Sex...The Highest Low?

As how it is most times during the week, my coworker (the one I blogged about) comes over to my desk after his shift is over to chat and shoot the breeze with me. I always enjoy talking with him, and even after I told him that I got down, he never looked down on me in any kind of judgmental way; he's always treated me the same. I think the main reason why I'm so cool with my coworker is that he reminds me so much of myself when I was his age (24)...he's young but he certainly doesn't carry himself like the average 24 year old. He's sophisticated, kinda laid-back, not very promiscuous (I can count on one hand how many sex stories he's told me), and mostly about his business (when he's not payin somebody dust lol). I can honestly say we have a friendship. We normally just laugh talk about coworkers, who was givin shade for the day, how he had to pay his manager dust, etc. (For a dude that claims to be straight, he sure kee kee-s like a good ole homo, but that's neither here nor there lol.) Anyway, he proceeds to tell me about his trip to Miami and the Dominican Republic, for which he enjoyed himself. Then he just said something that really took me off guard. It seemed to have come out of nowhere, although I know it was something he decided a while ago.

"I'm taking six months off," he blurted out.
"Six months off what?" I asked.

He then makes the symbol of sexual intercourse on his hands...one hand balled up into an O shape, with the index finger of the other hand going in and out of the O.

"Ohhhhhhhhh!" I responded incredulously, "Are you serious?"
"Yup," he answered, "I feel so much stronger when I don't do it."
"That's funny. I don't feel stronger until I get it in," I joked. "Well you know the weather's gettin nice. I wish you the best on that."

Even though I was kinda caught off guard by his revelation, now that I think about it it doesn't surprise me as much, knowing all that I know about him at this point.

The next day I marinated on what he said...I feel so much stronger when I don't do it. I assumed he meant physically, but it can also mean mentally. I mean hell, sex does have a way of clouding people's minds from making good judgments. I do remember him telling me that he was with his ex-girlfriend for 4 years (from ages 16-20). Now he's just casually talking to one or two girls. Maybe he feels like if he doesn't have sex, he doesn't have to worry about all the other feelings or emotions and whatever else that comes with the territory of interacting with someone else. I have to pick his brain a little more about this. I can't really say I relate to what he's saying. Even though I have no desire of getting into a relationship, I still have the need to express myself physically with someone else. (Masturbation can only satisfy me for so long, as much I really enjoy it. It's the horny side of me talking lol.) I'm experiencing new-found physical expressions with this dude from Elizabeth (from a few blogs ago). Shit, if his horny ass had his way, we'd be fuckin every day. He was gonna come over this past Friday, but he got lost, then frustrated, then went back home. We've only had sex twice so far, and I honestly do feel better. It's the best stress reliever (not to mention calorie burner). I don't consider myself to be all that great in sex, but it does something to your ego when your partner is moaning and screaming in ecstasy from what you're giving them. You feel like a muthafuckin champ! LOL

But I know there has to be someone else that is going through (or can at least relate) to what my coworker is going through. So now I pose this question to all you bloggers out there...I always thought that sex was supposed to create a sense of well-being. But is/was there ever a time when the joy of sex took something out of you other than physically? Did you ever feel at a low point after you did the do? How? Why? My interest has been piqued now.